Know When To Walk Away

Sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Tough choices that hurt or might hurt others. It’s one of the suckiest things about being an adult, but it has to be done. It is what it is. It sucks, sometimes you want to cling so tightly to something because it is a part of you, but if you step back you realize that this idea you are holding onto might do better without you... So you have to move on, let it go, and realize that everything is going to be okay... Everything is going to be okay.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to break out in song like some inspirational Disney movie. Just busting out some hard self-truths. When I was little one of my favorite songs was The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. 1978’s wisdom still rings true today.

“You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away and know when to run
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealing's done”

I don’t like to give up, I try not to make it a habit, but there are times when you gotta know when to walk away. I have been working on a project co-writing A Demon’s Heart with Alexandra, we’ve talked about it here occasionally so it would be shady if I didn’t address the changes that are taking place behind the scenes and what has changed for the book.

Full Transparency:

We started this project as our NaNoWriMo project last November. The main male character was a character I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I have a huge obsession with the last Russian Royal Family, Rasputin is by far one of my all time favorite real-life villains, and I was excited to tell their sides of a story that I have had bits and pieces of floating around in my head for years. But 10 days into November my world fell apart. Quite literally the life I had known for 12 years came crumbling down one Sunday morning. Life shattered and the other half of my heart walked out of my house in handcuffs.

I cried a lot. And no, I’m not going into all the details of what happened then or what is happening now. But I am explaining this so that you will maybe somewhat understand where my head has been for the past six months. Those first few weeks were complete chaos and fear. I had no idea what I was going to do, how my kids and I were going to survive while the rest of our lives were held in limbo. I couldn’t write. I had been working on two projects: Steamworks and A Demon’s Heart, and dabbling in Waking Up In Chains when all of this happened. Every time I opened scrivener to try to work on them afterwards my hands would shake, full on panic attack would set in, I would just look at the screen, cry and hyperventilate.

But I am prideful. I am a people-pleaser. Co-dependent. Whatever you want to call it. So starting in mid-December through February I pushed myself to try to help finish ADH with Alexandra, but behind my computer screen I was a mere robot and in order to get any words out for this story I had to simply cut off my emotions and the end result (from my prospective) is a very forced and unfocused piece of writing on my end (and I am only speaking about the parts I wrote and how I feel about it). It was hard, my head wasn’t in the right place. If this were a solo project I would just shelve it because it’s too raw of a pain for me to look at, but this is a co-writing project, therefore shelving it isn’t an option.

The only option (for me) was to look at what was best for this project and for Alexandra. My decision was to take my name off of it. A lot can be fixed in editing but all in all, me not being attached to this project is what is best because I can not heal if I have to constantly look back at what I was working on when my old life came tumbling down. It just rips the scab off of the wound and starts to bleed again.

My life being in shambles wasn’t the only reason I made my decision. I also feel like I don’t have enough fans to help drive sales, this type of book will benefit being under one author’s name and a name that has more of a following. That’s just smart marketing tactics. Some readers of one author might have too much of an emotional attachment to their “author” and wouldn’t want to dip their toes into something new. We all know that feeling, you have your favorite pair of shoes, they are comfy and broken in, it almost feels wrong to slip your feet into some new, unknown pair. Secondly, because of my robot-state I don’t feel like I contributed much to the story, sure the Alexei parts and Rasputin parts are there but all in all, I don’t feel like my contribution deserves my name on the cover or any part of the profits. And third, the books POV should be considered. And that is everything I took into consideration, but mostly, it was how I feel, in my heart. This project is just too much for me to deal with while I am still mentally healing and sorting out this new life which to be honest comes with a steep learning curve for everyone involved.

Now other changes that will happen I will leave to Alexandra to explain if she wants to, as is fitting, this is her ship to sail and that is her project.

I am sad, sad that my vision of character ideas I’ve had for a long time won’t be mine, but one day when the past doesn’t hurt I suppose I can look back at that and maybe enjoy the fact that there are bits and pieces of me that might have remained (after some heavy editing LOL). So bottom line is: Sometimes you gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.

So this is me “folding” for now. Other projects (ones started while my head and heart have gotten a bit clearer) are in the works. I have not given up on writing. But I am smart enough to recognize when something isn’t good for my soul. And right now, in this moment, this project isn’t good for my soul. And in related news, Steamworks is shelved indefinitely. My path isn’t set in stone and can’t be defined by what other people choose to do. I walk my own path and sometimes that path needs to be cleared of the rubble and debris; and other times I have to veer off that path and start blazing a new one.

If there is one thing I hope you take away from this post it is this: Do what is best for you. Find your bliss, follow your heart, but don't get so bogged down by "what you think you should be doing" that you make choices that aren't in your best interest. Be brave enough to be kind to yourself. Sometimes that is the hardest lesson for us to learn.

Quitter or Failure?

When does a writer become classified as a failure? Who makes that decision? Is there a secret number that if you don’t hit it you are forever ranked as a failure?

There seems to be this idea from non-writers that if the author they know hasn’t hit the New York Times Best Seller List then they’ve failed. I don’t agree, but there comes a time when you probably need to reevaluate what you are doing if you aren’t hitting the goals you set for yourself. (As long as they are realistic goals)

A couple of things happened this past week that have caused me a bit of self-doubt and admittedly some tears and made me wonder when someone becomes known as a failure. Is it after they try to do everything that everyone says works and steering clear of the things that supposedly don't work? Or is it just as simple as, they are a failure when they think they are one?

1) I see authors behaving badly on social media. Responding to bad reviews, calling out their friends for not buying their books, bad mouthing other authors, and throwing themselves pity parties all because they’ve been doing this for so long and have nothing to show for it.

They do the one thing that every single Marketing book says not to do and yet they are top-selling in their genre. Although if you listen to them they are barely selling, but look at their numbers and they are tops in their genre.

This leads me to believe that maybe people really do inherently flock to drama. Maybe these authors aren’t so much “behaving badly” as they are marketing geniuses!

That’s crazy, you say? Really? On any given post on social media by an author bashing a bad review, talking about giving up because sales are low, or threatening to cull their friends lists to get rid of “haters” you will find – I shit you not- between 25-100+ comments on those threads. Either backing up the authors claims that the bad review is bullying, ego stroking them to tell them not to quit and recommending friends to buy the authors books, or begging to stay in that author’s “Inner Circle” because they are such loyal fans.

It’s a marketing win! Hello! These people are getting fresh exposure whenever they do these posts. It’s genius.

I still won’t go that route… But hey, they found something that works, and even better not a lot people do it (since we all read the books that say it’s a no-no). They reap the benefits. Good on them, but it still leaves me feeling blah about my own marketing. And so, I need to reevaluate my plan. Their plan won’t work for me but my current plan isn’t working so well either.

2) The other issue comes from family. Extended family, but family none the less. I could probably just leave it at that, since Family, even distant family, always knows how to hurt you most. They know the weak spots in our armor.

An extended family member asked me how my “little writing thing” was going. When I said, “It’s going.” They asked how many books I’ve sold… I hate that question. It seems so inappropriate. I would never ask someone how much money was in their bank account or how much cash they have in their wallet, but for some reason being invasive is okay when the person is merely writing “little stories”.

Anyways, I told them my numbers and they gave me one of these --> O.O <-- looks and said, “Wow… That’s it? I think it’s safe to say it’s time to throw in the towel and call it a good try.”

I didn’t feel up to arguing after that ego punch so I simply nodded and walked away. When I got home I let it eat at me. In truth it is still eating at me. I started looking at all the things I am doing wrong…

I’m spending too much time with my family. I could be writing more if we didn’t go do things or if I sent my kids to tutoring instead of helping them with homework. I spend too much time with my animals. I could probably learn something like formatting if I didn’t give them so much of my attention… But honestly these are things that I will not give up.

So I started looking at the other wrongs I’ve committed: I don’t have a dedicated editor. I rely on beta readers and numerous rounds of edits. Sure I’ve had people (several different people) edit my books, but I have no one who I have their full attention because the people I work with also write for themselves and have work of their own to do. So I started scanning the internet trying to find someone affordable… Still waiting on that.

I don’t know how to format. I have to rely on others and hope that I am not imposing on their time to get my stuff formatted.

I don’t know HTML… That could be useful too.

As my extended family member reminded me the other day: Successful authors pay for editing, formatting, and web-based stuff… Hell they have assistants, street teams, agents, etc… And I am here trying to do it by myself with the help of friends and trying to offset favors with trades and in the end feeling like I am spread too thing and failing.

I told my husband the other night “I’d rather quit than be a failure.” He said, “You’re only a failure if you quit.” (Which is what Alex said to me too.)

Would I really quit? No, not really. I just needed to say it out loud for a moment and embrace my own private pity party. I’ve been writing and telling stories long before anyone cared to read them. So no I am not quitting.

I don’t have huge sales, I’m not selling 50 books a month. I don’t have 100+ comments on my posts, but in the end what I do have is a handful of real friends who read what I write and tell me they love it. I have some solid reviews, even if they don’t number in the thousands. And lastly, I have my kids and ironically an estranged husband who are proud of me for doing what I am doing and for not giving up and who will always indulge me when I need to cry, or vent, or have myself a pity party.

That’s really all I need. I’m not here with delusions of making it big, hitting #1 spots on lists, or to have 5000 friends. I’m here for me, my stories, and for my friends and family who support me in this adventure.

Am I still feeling blah? Sure, but later today I’ll fire up Scrivener and write some more, because I can’t – not write – it’s in my blood and if I stopped I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

P.S. After writing this all up I received an email about my Ellora’s Cave book, I got my first blog review for Twisted Revenge and it was a 4.5 star review. That helped make this day less gloomy. So while that has nothing to do with the self-publishing aspect it serves as a reminder: There’s always a silver lining.

Sex: Porn or Creative Expression?

Well this post was kind of a given, surprising that it took this long for it to be discussed. This blog isn't about sex, but seeing as how both +Alexandra Webb and I write Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance I figure it is worth discussing. There is many different "heat levels" and for everyone the definition of what is acceptable and what is considered depraved is different. Like most things in life, sex is subjective. No two people view it in exactly the same light. Some people view it as "porn in written form", but for others it is simply "creative expression". So let's roll up our sleeves and dive right into all the juicy details.

When reviewing books here at SPE we use our own heat rating system:

Mild- Sex is eluded to or given a very sweet touch with pretty words, nothing graphic

Medium- Getting a little heavier but still nothing that couldn't be shown in primetime TV

Hot- This is the kind of scenes that if it were on TV would have to be shown after 10pm

Spicy- Graphic with just a touch of restraint. It makes you blush and gets your heart racing

Scorching- Graphic and abundant. Words you wouldn't use in proper company are usually used regularly. Not only do you blush and a racing pulse, your body throbs, and you might need to take a break from reading and find some release. (yes, there are those types of books out there)

What do I feel most comfortable writing? Glad you asked. I enjoy writing Spicy. Although I am getting very fluent in Scorching. I do stumble on the use of some words and descriptions, but slowly I am getting over that bump in the road. Sweet sex scenes gives me hives, seriously. Not that I don't like reading them, but writing them gives me so much anxiety that I actually feel like I might pass out from the stress of it. Why? Because I am so used to writing graphic scenes (be it sex or violence) that writing something without such an intense level of description stresses me out. I worry, did I put too much touch, taste, and texture in that? What if it offends someone? But then again I am a worrier. And that is also why I don't tend to write the sweet-stuff.

But I know that not everyone is like me. For some people reading something with even a "hot" heat rating would be too much for them. And that is fine, as I am reminded time and time again: You can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like your book. Which is cool. That is okay with me. But for the people who like to have that blush to their cheeks when they read something I hope that I can deliver. Every once in awhile I'll get an email from someone that says "That chapter was hot." That gives me the best feeling in the world.

I've been seeing a surge of posts on the internet asking what the point of writing graphic sex scenes., accusing authors of only writing them to titillate the reader and themselves, fodder for the depraved, material to masturbate to, and comparing it to porn. I guess for me, my counter question would be: So what? If you don't like it, don't read it. Really. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but if you don't like something stay away from it. I don't like animal cruelty so I stay away from cock-fights. I've seen posts saying that having this kind of literature available is poison to readers. I'm allergic to coconut, to me it is poison, you know what I do? I don't eat it. If someone thinks that erotic romance is poison then they shouldn't be picking it up and reading it, just like I stay away from coconut. It's really as simple as that. Now when it comes to reading sex scenes I enjoy it in all forms, from sweet to sizzling. Just because I enjoy writing the latter, doesn't mean I condemn those who write the former and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it myself.

I don't think of myself a perv, but I am definitely not a prude. Yet when some people find out what I write I am treated like the town pariah. Although, check most of those peoples book shelves or kindles and you will find 50 Shades of Grey. You see, that book is acceptable, because it is a international best seller. And therein lies the difference. If you peddle smut and sell enough to hit the NYT best seller list then you are a maverick, but if you peddle smut on a small scale you are a depraved-porn pushing, hell bound, sinner. Hypocritical? Yep, you bet ya. But that is how society works, sell enough and you are praised for "breaking the mold"; sell a little bit and you might as well line up next to Larry Flint and wait your turn on the tour bus headed for the second circle of hell. Oh hypocrisy, so much fun.

So what do erotic romance writers to do? Hold the line, keep writing, up your heat level if you like, lower if you want. But never-ever give in to what a select few toting a higher moral ground demand of you. You don't have to explain yourself, I sure as hell am not going to explain myself or defend myself about what I write. I've done that for over a year now and it's gotten me absolutely no where. No more. And, so what if it titillates the reader? So what if the author gets excited writing it? Who said our lives had to be restrained, boring, and bland? It may be cliché, but it's true: Life is short. Live it. Enjoy it. And do what makes you happy. And yes, read and/or write what makes you happy and if that is erotic romance, porn without plot, or smut then curl up, draw the blinds, bite your lip and let that blush happen. Enjoy the fact that you can do it.

Now, it's your turn: What is your preferred "heat rating"? Do you like it sweet and mild or hot and heavy?

We'd love to hear from you! 

The Curious Case Of Blurb Writing

One of the plus sides of self-publishing is that you don't have to write a complete synopsis or a query letter. Yay for that, but you still have to write a blurb (or short synopsis) for your book. It either goes up on every digital site your sell or advertise your book listing or it goes on the back of your paperback, and in most cases it goes to both. It is vital to have one, otherwise no one will know what your book is about and you'd better make it a good one otherwise no one will want to read your hard work.

I really hate blurb writing. Hate it with a capital H. It's no fun, and I'm pretty sure I've gained some gray hair just from trying to come up with two coherent paragraphs about my book. And revision after revision and even seeing it on the back of my paperback proof I am still questioning whether it is good enough. Because let's be honest here, in self-publishing “good enough” is never, EVER, “good enough”. You can't just be good if you want to succeed, you have to be great, fantastic, amazing. And this isn't about making money, when I say “if you want to succeed” I'm talking about gaining fans, having people recommend your book, and people enjoying your vision. That is success. But you can't just be good, a lot of people are good. You have to stand out.

Years ago I wrote to one of my idols, Gary Gygax, if you don't know who the man is then Google him. He is known as the father of D&D. I had this idea, an RPG (you know, the paper and pencil kind, not a video game), it was a world I'd created from years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, Rifts, and Gamma World. Even better I'd written scores of stories based on the adventures that all of our characters had played. P.S. If you didn't know: Dragons of Autumn Twilight, the first novel of the Dragonlance Chronicles series, was written based on D&D sessions played by the authors, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, along with other friends (some of them went on to be Dragonlance authors as well). So my idea wasn't completely loony. Anyway, I wrote to him asking him how in the world do I go about breaking into this business. Amazingly he responded. His advice was simple, be great. He said that the downside is that RPG fans are amazingly creative, the game is made for you to think and be as creative as possible. Which mean that they all have great ideas, great worlds, maps, and therefore there are a lot of them out there trying to do the same thing as me. So if I wanted my world to stand out it had to be better than good, it had to be great. It had to be something different, because a lot of people where doing the same thing as me. He also said to not give up, keep trying. Many years later, I am still trying and not giving up.

I think this same thing applies to authors, we are all creative, otherwise we wouldn't be writing about all of these fanciful worlds and characters. This is a competitive industry because of that level of creativity. That is not to say you can't give support to your fellow authors, you should. You should promote the hell out of them, and vice versa, because as indie authors if we don't have each others backs then we all suffer. But you can't just be good, you have to be great. And the first thing a reader sees is your cover, after that it's your blurb. If you get the formula right it will hook the reader, and that is what you want obviously. So the stress of writing a great blurb can be the cause for late nights, stress breakouts, and gray hair.

There are a couple of different formula's out there for writing the “perfect” blurb. Do they work? I'm sure that they do, but the thing about a formula is that you still have to put your words down on paper and all the equations in the world sometimes don't help.

I've found one that I really do like, it's simple and helps you flesh out what you need to say. I found this months ago on Twitter and I figure passing it on to whoever it might help will put some pebbles in my good karma jar, so whenever I see someone stressing over a blurb (or synopsis) I always pass along this link:

http://mikewellsblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/secret-formula-for-creating-short.html

As for my blurb for Waking Up In Bedlam, here it is (although I am still unsure if it is captivating enough, I suppose time will tell).

Waking Up In Bedlam



Ryder is a fake- and he knows it. He spends his days pretending to be a paranormal investigator and his nights entertaining groups of believers with his claims of communicating with the dead. Life is good and business is booming until the night a beautiful woman storms out of his seminar and a mysterious man drops an unexplainable case in his lap. Ryder finds out the world he thought was fake is actually real and even worse, he has become the paranormal world's most wanted.


Jessa wants answers and the human, Ryder, is the only one who can give them to her. She has one goal, keep him alive long enough to figure our why he has been haunting her dreams. The only problem is the more time she spends with him the more she realizes the answers she seeks are ones she isn't ready to face.


Can either one of them accept what fate has laid out for them? Or will they fight their destiny at the cost of everyone they hold dear?

 Available November 14, 2013

The challenge of pricing your book, plus an announcement.

So several times over this last week posts have come up talking about how to price your e-book. There are a bunch of articles out there, a bunch of suggestions and you'll hurt your brain when you try to make heads or tails of it. So what do you follow? What article do you believe. Why is something working for someone else, but not you?

So many questions, and yes we're all lost in a sea of doubt when this comes up. As Mia prepares to release Waking Up in Bedlam it's something her and I discuss quite often. So here's my advice to you, from the research and reading I've done, it's a trial and error kind of deal. According to the Indie Romance Convention Blog, there's a formula that should help with pricing your book. According to Molly Greene, it's all about hitting that sweet spot, but it's still different for every person. When you talk to some authors they'll tell you they sell all e-books at $0.99 and that it works great, others will tell you that it doesn't work so well.

From what I've gathered $2.99 is the sweet spot for novels and novellas, $1.99 or FREE is great for short stories. Running a free short story as the start of a series seems to be a pretty popular choice. Many people say avoid $0.99, but why? So many authors do that, hell there are authors that offer entire collections for $0.99. Now, a $0.99 promo is different that a $0.99 continuous selling price. Here's the deal, $0.99 can still be associate with crap. Stuff people just throw up there to see if they can make a few sales. Check out the IRC blog for a great analogy about dollar store steak. (Which, for the record our dollar store here does, indeed, sell steak.)

Here's the deal, fellow authors and aspiring authors, don't sell yourself short. We all struggle with doubt, and wonder if someone would even be willing to buy a book for $2.99 from an unknown author, a new author, anything like that. But you have put your blood, sweat, and tears into your project. You are worth more than $0.99, all indie authors are. Don't let yourself get lost in that sea of $0.99, and it's never too late to change that price. So if you're floating around, go play with your prices a bit and see what happens with your sales!


Now time for the announcement. As we all know Mia's book is coming out next month (yay!!!) which probably brings to question when my book will be coming out. This was supposed to be a journey together, and it will be, but because of other unforeseen circumstances the publishing path for Black and White has changed. It will be published with Ellora's Cave, I can't really go into details as to why or how this came about, but I assure you that I have the Indie publishing experience to continue to help Mia with this blog and now I can start to offer a view point in comparison when working with a publisher. So please bare with us when things start to shift around here!

Release Date Jitters

Release day jitters. Plain and simple, my stomach is doing Olympic high-dives every time I think about it. Waking Up In Bedlam has an official release date: November 14, 2013 and to be honest I have no idea what I am doing.

Downfall of self-publishing is that it's all on you. And when you don't know what you are doing it is like swimming in fast drying cement carrying a bowling ball. But here is the game plan.

Alex offered to help me set up a Facebook Event before the launch. I need to start pimping myself out. Maybe posting some snippets, giving away some swag. I need to find some book reviews and hopefully get a couple of reviews before my release date.

All in all, it's a lot to do before the 14^th but hopefully it will help me share my story and my characters with lots of readers who will hopefully enjoy what I've crafted.

I am firmly planted in reality. I know not everyone is going to like what I put out, I know that this won't be easy, I certainly understand that (in most cases) you do not get rich going this route and I don't expect to. I want to share what I've created, I hope that I've done the characters in my head justice, and I hope people enjoy it.

So while I am experiencing some major jitters in regards to actually giving myself a release date I am keeping the date, facing it all head on, and going to do my best to get over my fears and actually promote myself.

In the next week or so I will figuring out my marketing plan, when I have that all sorted out I will share it and we will just have to wait and see how it goes.

The home stretch and the end of your rope.

I'm writing this for Mia, because she's in the home stretch *cheers*. She's ordered her ARCs from Createspace for the paper backs so she and a few others can go through and look for last grammar changes and typos. While all of you are cheering her on, this is what I want to explain to you. This process isn't easy. Trying to balance it with life, isn't easy, none of this shit is easy. There are hours of stress involved, working with Betas, working with covers, an editor and getting ready to release your baby into the world. Those who say that they have no anxiety over releasing a book or a short story are lying to you. In their head they are wondering about bad reviews, missed typos, and haters. There is sleep loss at night and long days of preparing.

So what does an author do when they get to the end of their rope? The home stretch is right there within their reach and it just seems that the world is piling more and more on top of them? The same thing anyone else does. They vent, they breath, they step back, once things ebb a little bit, they get back to it. By things I mean stress. There are deadlines to meet, even in the self-publishing world. Deadlines get things done, stress is a part of that. There are other stresses that aren't writing related, family, jobs (not all writers get to stay at home), health and so on. I can't tell you what Mia does, but I can tell you what I do.

I make a list, things get priorities, does it have to be done by that date? Okay, it gets moved to the top of the list, anything with a due date before that is moved above it. That helps me get a realistic look at what is going on. When it comes to family, obviously they take priority, but I know my situation isn't the same as everyone. I have great friends who help me when it comes to crunch time, they help watch my child for a day while I get work done.  When it comes to health...well to be honest I don't take the best care of myself, but I do know when it's time to say I have to nap with the baby instead of work. The newest thing I do when life tries to drag me down, I run. My thoughts go like this when I approach the treadmill. "This is going to be 30 minutes I could use for something else." I get on, throw on some angry music and go for it. I always feel better after and I always sleep better those nights. It's a win win....

Here's the thing, you have to find what works for you. This is a stressful career, you need to find a way to help curb that stress a little. Meditation, walking, just sitting for a little bit. You won't get anything done if you're too stressed out to think. All work and no play makes Jake a dull boy. Remember that. You don't want to go crazy or you'll burn yourself out. Take time for you, even if that just means switching to a project without a deadline for a little bit.

Let us all wish Mia good luck with Waking up in Bedlam! We all want to see it on the shelf and will be cheering her on as she runs that home stretch! <3

Burnt Out On Editing

Burn out. It sucks.

Due to my burn out I would totally end this blog post right there but I feel the obligation to explain myself. I am burnt out on editing Waking Up In Bedlam. True story.

I know as a writer I'm supposed to be all "this is the greatest thing ever and every part of this process is so much fun!" and others will say "If you aren't having fun and enjoying it then you aren't a real writer." I call bullshit on both those statements. No one is having fun and enjoying every millisecond of the writing process, some of us can admit when something is sucking and draining us. I don't think it makes me less of a writer to admit that I am burnt out. Note: I said "burnt out" I did not say "quitting" or "giving up", I just think it's healthy to admit out loud that I am burnt out. End of story.

Why am I burnt out? 1) I'm a perfectionist, I want WUIB to be perfect because I am so damn scared of the reviews that will say something along the lines of "You can tell this is self-published by the editing." 2) It's hard to kill the lines or scenes you love, even when it is what is best for the story. 3) Plot Holes. One of my beta readers found some plot holes, one of which requires rewriting an entire chapter. How the hell did I miss that? *shrugs* I have no clue, but it is there plain as day.

So there ya go, that is my bitch/complaint. Editing, I am not a fan of yours. But as much as I don't like editing, it is a process that is necessary. It is a critical step that must be completely thoroughly in order to put out quality work. As much as it might be a drag you have to just pick yourself back up and hit it again. I've been working in 2-3 chapter chunks at a time. That seems to help, I don't get so hung up on it and can work through my blahs as I try to map out that re-do chapter and sort these plot holes out.

Also, on the subject of editing, someone suggested autocrit.com to me the other day, I tried the free version and it was pretty awesome, except for the fact that the free version only let's you do 500 words at a time and gives you very limited tools (by very limited I mean only two). While it was very fun and I think it would be great for me to use in my first draft edits to take some of the burden off of my beta readers/editors there is no way I could afford the price-tag, for the full version it is over $100 and that my friends is just not doable. If I have time I'll do the free version in chunks, although a 60k manuscript would take 120 visits to the site.

Do you enjoy editing? Are you a stickler for grammar already so editing is a breeze for you? Do you use editing software?

Dealing with the negative while remaining professional

Not only is my SPE post two days late, it is also coming to you from my iPad since we are in the middle of a thunder and lightening storm. Some days it's harder than others to get things to work out the way you want them, but what makes a crap day even worse is the realization that not everyone is going to be happy for your successes in life.

What is even harder than dealing with haters is having to stay professional at all times. Many times I've wanted to let loose with a Facebook rant about this, that or the other thing, but I for the most part hold my tongue and especially on my "Author Page", I do not rant or bitch about things big or small. I censor myself on my author page to keep the drama at bay. I want to look professional, I want my author page to look professional. There are many times I say "I want to post this" but then I think about how it will look and it gets deleted and a lot of the time +Alexandra Webb also reminds me to vent to her instead of in public. It's hard when we want to defend ourselves, but it's worth not looking like a fool who just wants drama. This harkens back to my post about branding, I am my brand. So yes, my personal Facebook page might contain a rant about my husband, or posts about my crapass mailman, but you won't find me bashing reviewers or bitching about how I can tell by my sales who of my friends hasn't purchased my books (yes, that is a real rant I've seen on Facebook) on either my author page or my personal page, it's just not done. You keep it professional.

Some things do hurt too deep. Some people know exactly how to rip our hearts out and show them to us. What do you do when need to vent, need to scream and cry and be angry because someone close to you bashed your latest work? Or when a reviewer gives you a 1 star drive by review with no comments? Or when someone calls your work unoriginal? You find a friend you can vent to and you vent in private, not in public. You pick yourself up, rub some dirt on it, and move the fuck on. O.o oh yes, I'm pulling out the curse words now.

Did you hear how self-published authors are lazy hacks? Have you heard that they shouldn't even be in the publishing business if they can't get a contract? How about the fact that its not fair that others paid their dues slinging words for a newspaper or working as an editor for 40 years before they started writing? Or what about the fact that self-publishing is cop-out? Self-published authors don't care about putting out quality work? Etc, etc... The list of bullshit comments that can get you down goes on and on. Haters, man. They are everywhere.

1) vent, rant and rage. In private, that is what email, inboxes, Skype, text messages, and voxer is for.

2) Pick yourself up

3) Rub some dirt on it

4) CARRY ON

Lather, rinse and repeat as needed. 

Look, the honest truth is this: like i said earlier, not everyone is going to be happy for your successes. Whether it's a friend who doesn't support you, an entire family that doesn't understand you, or an entire community that is against how you choose to do things. Everyone is going to have an opinion and not all of them will be good. It hurts when we aren't supported, it hurts when we feel alone. We are creatures who need support and praise. It makes us feel good, reminds us to keep going. Everyone loves a compliment.

In this digital world of anonymity it's easy for others to hide behind a computer scene and hurt you but this is your dream, they can't take it from you unless you let them. You just have to focus, lean on the friends who support you and distance yourself from those who bring you down. Reach out to others. Ask for help, sing the praises of fellow authors, make new friends, work to be the good in this industry because honestly there is way too much elitist bullshit around here and things need to change. Just because something was done a certain way for "x" amount of years doesn't mean that change is bad, change is very, very good. It keeps things from growing stagnant. It's refreshing.

So be professional, be kind, be supportive... But remember that being those things doesn't  mean you have to put up with people or groups or family who put you down or don't support you. They can only affect you if you let them, and yes, it's hard to not let it get you down. That is what wine, chocolate, a nice warm bath, and good books are for; to lift your spirits when the douchebags get you down. Then after a nice glass of wine, or some silky smooth chocolate, or a nice long soak in the tub, or after a couple of chapters of a good book you can get back to your goal. Writing. Because in the end for writers, artists, and creators,  the only thing that fill us up, makes us feel whole (besides our loved ones) is working on our craft, honing our skills, and sharing our work with whomever wishes to see it.

The Writing World

Too many irons in the fire is a phrase that I'm hearing more and more often by my surrounding authors and aspiring authors. One of the blogs I write for was put on hiatus because everyone ended up being too busy to keep up with regular posts. I'm a person who likes to be busy, so when something new and exciting was dropped on my plate, I thought, no problem! Tonight will be my fourth night in a row staying up until midnight to meet minimum expectations for my projects under Alexandra and my projects under my actual name. As I sip my coffee, I can't help but think, 'this is the life of an author.'

Mia has a project that has a deadline of September 13th. That's not a deadline she set, but I can't tell you what the project is. The advantage of self published projects is that you set your own deadlines. You can keep your readers waiting, which I don't recommend, or you can pick a release date, when you're comfortable, to get everyone excited about it. There are authors I know who have been promising a release (without a specific date) for a few months. You can check on their Facebook page, and two months ago they give the same excuses and explanation this month. If you go down this path you have to claim your title. You are an author now. There is stress. There is times you don't want to work, when you need to.

Stress is a killer, but you must find away to work with it instead of against it. If you need to step back, take a nap, take a bath, take a walk, but then get back to work. Don't forget that writing is only part of the job. As my other-self, I have events coming up that I have to prepare for. A book signing at a local store and a convention. Despite the fact that I'm going to be exhausted, I have to be able to participate in the book signing, talk to the people there and appear professional. (They better have coffee!) The convention is a four day commitment that I know I won't get much work done while I'm there, so I have to prepare for it. That means planning deadlines and goals around that. More stress since my newest deadline is November 13th, that means during NaNoWriMo (which is a whole other beast) and a few weeks after the convention. I have to time things just right. Stress, but excitement all the same.

I sit back and look at my WIP list and sigh, I'm scared some of it's not going to get done. I'm scared some of it is going to bomb, and I'm scared I might burn myself out. I have three projects under Alexandra right now, not including the upcoming NaNo: In Black and White Edits, a post apocalyptic story, and Redemption, which I can give more details on later. I won't even get into the WIPs as the other me. I'm not complaining. I asked for this life. I have worked for this dream to become a reality. I'll take everything as it comes. What is important is that you don't let the stress and the fear control you. You are bigger than it, you can over come it. Remember that you have great support and people who are taking this journey with you. You'll find them in some of the most unsuspected places. Chin up and dream big.