Quitter or Failure?

When does a writer become classified as a failure? Who makes that decision? Is there a secret number that if you don’t hit it you are forever ranked as a failure?

There seems to be this idea from non-writers that if the author they know hasn’t hit the New York Times Best Seller List then they’ve failed. I don’t agree, but there comes a time when you probably need to reevaluate what you are doing if you aren’t hitting the goals you set for yourself. (As long as they are realistic goals)

A couple of things happened this past week that have caused me a bit of self-doubt and admittedly some tears and made me wonder when someone becomes known as a failure. Is it after they try to do everything that everyone says works and steering clear of the things that supposedly don't work? Or is it just as simple as, they are a failure when they think they are one?

1) I see authors behaving badly on social media. Responding to bad reviews, calling out their friends for not buying their books, bad mouthing other authors, and throwing themselves pity parties all because they’ve been doing this for so long and have nothing to show for it.

They do the one thing that every single Marketing book says not to do and yet they are top-selling in their genre. Although if you listen to them they are barely selling, but look at their numbers and they are tops in their genre.

This leads me to believe that maybe people really do inherently flock to drama. Maybe these authors aren’t so much “behaving badly” as they are marketing geniuses!

That’s crazy, you say? Really? On any given post on social media by an author bashing a bad review, talking about giving up because sales are low, or threatening to cull their friends lists to get rid of “haters” you will find – I shit you not- between 25-100+ comments on those threads. Either backing up the authors claims that the bad review is bullying, ego stroking them to tell them not to quit and recommending friends to buy the authors books, or begging to stay in that author’s “Inner Circle” because they are such loyal fans.

It’s a marketing win! Hello! These people are getting fresh exposure whenever they do these posts. It’s genius.

I still won’t go that route… But hey, they found something that works, and even better not a lot people do it (since we all read the books that say it’s a no-no). They reap the benefits. Good on them, but it still leaves me feeling blah about my own marketing. And so, I need to reevaluate my plan. Their plan won’t work for me but my current plan isn’t working so well either.

2) The other issue comes from family. Extended family, but family none the less. I could probably just leave it at that, since Family, even distant family, always knows how to hurt you most. They know the weak spots in our armor.

An extended family member asked me how my “little writing thing” was going. When I said, “It’s going.” They asked how many books I’ve sold… I hate that question. It seems so inappropriate. I would never ask someone how much money was in their bank account or how much cash they have in their wallet, but for some reason being invasive is okay when the person is merely writing “little stories”.

Anyways, I told them my numbers and they gave me one of these --> O.O <-- looks and said, “Wow… That’s it? I think it’s safe to say it’s time to throw in the towel and call it a good try.”

I didn’t feel up to arguing after that ego punch so I simply nodded and walked away. When I got home I let it eat at me. In truth it is still eating at me. I started looking at all the things I am doing wrong…

I’m spending too much time with my family. I could be writing more if we didn’t go do things or if I sent my kids to tutoring instead of helping them with homework. I spend too much time with my animals. I could probably learn something like formatting if I didn’t give them so much of my attention… But honestly these are things that I will not give up.

So I started looking at the other wrongs I’ve committed: I don’t have a dedicated editor. I rely on beta readers and numerous rounds of edits. Sure I’ve had people (several different people) edit my books, but I have no one who I have their full attention because the people I work with also write for themselves and have work of their own to do. So I started scanning the internet trying to find someone affordable… Still waiting on that.

I don’t know how to format. I have to rely on others and hope that I am not imposing on their time to get my stuff formatted.

I don’t know HTML… That could be useful too.

As my extended family member reminded me the other day: Successful authors pay for editing, formatting, and web-based stuff… Hell they have assistants, street teams, agents, etc… And I am here trying to do it by myself with the help of friends and trying to offset favors with trades and in the end feeling like I am spread too thing and failing.

I told my husband the other night “I’d rather quit than be a failure.” He said, “You’re only a failure if you quit.” (Which is what Alex said to me too.)

Would I really quit? No, not really. I just needed to say it out loud for a moment and embrace my own private pity party. I’ve been writing and telling stories long before anyone cared to read them. So no I am not quitting.

I don’t have huge sales, I’m not selling 50 books a month. I don’t have 100+ comments on my posts, but in the end what I do have is a handful of real friends who read what I write and tell me they love it. I have some solid reviews, even if they don’t number in the thousands. And lastly, I have my kids and ironically an estranged husband who are proud of me for doing what I am doing and for not giving up and who will always indulge me when I need to cry, or vent, or have myself a pity party.

That’s really all I need. I’m not here with delusions of making it big, hitting #1 spots on lists, or to have 5000 friends. I’m here for me, my stories, and for my friends and family who support me in this adventure.

Am I still feeling blah? Sure, but later today I’ll fire up Scrivener and write some more, because I can’t – not write – it’s in my blood and if I stopped I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

P.S. After writing this all up I received an email about my Ellora’s Cave book, I got my first blog review for Twisted Revenge and it was a 4.5 star review. That helped make this day less gloomy. So while that has nothing to do with the self-publishing aspect it serves as a reminder: There’s always a silver lining.

Success

So the one thing I have to remind myself over and over about is that success does not happen over night. Not even for authors with big name publishers. There's a lot of work, networking, marketing, a lot of everything that goes into success. The problem I'm seeing around social networking are authors who insist that they are entitled to success. They want it over night, they deserve it over night, because they are so much better than the thousands indie authors struggling out there. Sure there are authors who can drop hundreds of dollars on ads, hiring a marketing person, and using every possible resource to their advantage, but let's face it. Not all of us have that kind of money.

What we need to remember is to have patience. I'm not saying don't do any marketing, because that's not going to help the matter. But be smart about it. Explore your avenue, be open to trying new things. I've talked to several authors who have been indie authors for three years and they are doing great. It helps that they have a great product. Do your research, for example, did you know there is an algorithm on amazon that you can use to your advantage? You get the best change of being seen if you publish something every thirty days, your chances are lowered if you post something every sixty days, and after ninety days you drop out of their algorithm and start all over again. Am I suggesting you write crap and threw it up just to take advantage of this? No, no I'm not, because there is enough crap out there already, but start planning on it. Try to get a head of your writing and soon you'll be able to starting putting things up, short stories, novels, novellas, co-written books.

Sit down and write a five year plan, but be reasonable. Put down things that you know will be a challenge, but will be attainable. Set short term and long term goals and deadlines. Stick to them. Don't be afraid of making friends with strangers, network with authors inside and outside your genre. Talk to people and share what you know. Yes writing is a solitary career, but marketing is not done alone. Be personable, don't air your woes and marketing troubles on Facebook. Don't threaten to quit just to get a rise out of fans so that they'll stroke your ego. And most of all...don't give up.

I've come a long way in a year, with both names that I write under, but I know I still have a long way to go. Some days the road seems dark, but then I remind myself. Success doesn't happen over night and it doesn't come without work. We are not entitled to anything.

So Close

My SPE is a little late today and short because I've been trying to wrap my head around formatting. It's headache inducing, let me just say that right now.

The good thing about it is that it is one step, one giant step closer to getting Waking Up In Bedlam self-published and in print. I am in a mix of excited, scared, and still not quite sure if it is ready yet. Maybe I will never feel 100% ready. I mean, who is ever completely ready to pour your heart and soul onto paper and then distribute it to the masses not knowing if they are going to love it, hate it, or fall somewhere in between.

Regardless it's time to put it out there. I was hoping for another round of editing before ordering my proofs but time is running out on a couple of fronts, so after I hear back from one of my beta readers, make whatever changes need to be made, I will be ordering some proof copies to go over myself, and to send out as ARC's for whomever I can find to review.

When I finish sorting out the how-to's of formatting I will share what (if anything) I've learned, but so far all I've learned is that my hurts after hours of pouring over formatting guidelines for Createspace. And sadly, I haven't even touched the formatting guides for all the other formats out there.

But with that said:

I am one more step closer to my goal. One more step closer to touching the stars.

Dealing with the negative while remaining professional

Not only is my SPE post two days late, it is also coming to you from my iPad since we are in the middle of a thunder and lightening storm. Some days it's harder than others to get things to work out the way you want them, but what makes a crap day even worse is the realization that not everyone is going to be happy for your successes in life.

What is even harder than dealing with haters is having to stay professional at all times. Many times I've wanted to let loose with a Facebook rant about this, that or the other thing, but I for the most part hold my tongue and especially on my "Author Page", I do not rant or bitch about things big or small. I censor myself on my author page to keep the drama at bay. I want to look professional, I want my author page to look professional. There are many times I say "I want to post this" but then I think about how it will look and it gets deleted and a lot of the time +Alexandra Webb also reminds me to vent to her instead of in public. It's hard when we want to defend ourselves, but it's worth not looking like a fool who just wants drama. This harkens back to my post about branding, I am my brand. So yes, my personal Facebook page might contain a rant about my husband, or posts about my crapass mailman, but you won't find me bashing reviewers or bitching about how I can tell by my sales who of my friends hasn't purchased my books (yes, that is a real rant I've seen on Facebook) on either my author page or my personal page, it's just not done. You keep it professional.

Some things do hurt too deep. Some people know exactly how to rip our hearts out and show them to us. What do you do when need to vent, need to scream and cry and be angry because someone close to you bashed your latest work? Or when a reviewer gives you a 1 star drive by review with no comments? Or when someone calls your work unoriginal? You find a friend you can vent to and you vent in private, not in public. You pick yourself up, rub some dirt on it, and move the fuck on. O.o oh yes, I'm pulling out the curse words now.

Did you hear how self-published authors are lazy hacks? Have you heard that they shouldn't even be in the publishing business if they can't get a contract? How about the fact that its not fair that others paid their dues slinging words for a newspaper or working as an editor for 40 years before they started writing? Or what about the fact that self-publishing is cop-out? Self-published authors don't care about putting out quality work? Etc, etc... The list of bullshit comments that can get you down goes on and on. Haters, man. They are everywhere.

1) vent, rant and rage. In private, that is what email, inboxes, Skype, text messages, and voxer is for.

2) Pick yourself up

3) Rub some dirt on it

4) CARRY ON

Lather, rinse and repeat as needed. 

Look, the honest truth is this: like i said earlier, not everyone is going to be happy for your successes. Whether it's a friend who doesn't support you, an entire family that doesn't understand you, or an entire community that is against how you choose to do things. Everyone is going to have an opinion and not all of them will be good. It hurts when we aren't supported, it hurts when we feel alone. We are creatures who need support and praise. It makes us feel good, reminds us to keep going. Everyone loves a compliment.

In this digital world of anonymity it's easy for others to hide behind a computer scene and hurt you but this is your dream, they can't take it from you unless you let them. You just have to focus, lean on the friends who support you and distance yourself from those who bring you down. Reach out to others. Ask for help, sing the praises of fellow authors, make new friends, work to be the good in this industry because honestly there is way too much elitist bullshit around here and things need to change. Just because something was done a certain way for "x" amount of years doesn't mean that change is bad, change is very, very good. It keeps things from growing stagnant. It's refreshing.

So be professional, be kind, be supportive... But remember that being those things doesn't  mean you have to put up with people or groups or family who put you down or don't support you. They can only affect you if you let them, and yes, it's hard to not let it get you down. That is what wine, chocolate, a nice warm bath, and good books are for; to lift your spirits when the douchebags get you down. Then after a nice glass of wine, or some silky smooth chocolate, or a nice long soak in the tub, or after a couple of chapters of a good book you can get back to your goal. Writing. Because in the end for writers, artists, and creators,  the only thing that fill us up, makes us feel whole (besides our loved ones) is working on our craft, honing our skills, and sharing our work with whomever wishes to see it.

Milestones

SPE has now been up for a year. One year of this journey and I don't feel like we're all the way into the adventure yet. Each step is a small milestone to the big picture. We all dream of six figure (or bigger!) book deals, that would be able to buy us a mansion and solve all of our money woes. (Cause let's face it, we all have them.) But normally, you don't get there over night, you have to reach little stones first. One step at a time.

I look back on this year that SPE has been around and I think about things that we could do better and things that we have done well with. The same thing goes for my writing. I wish I could have worked faster, but I'm happy with the current results of In Black and White. I'm proud of Mia for coming as far as she has. I've read over her manuscript twice now and I've loved it both times. We have come so far, yet we have so far to go. It's time we celebrate the little victories, and support us and fellow writers in them. When we release our first SPEs (yes, there will be more) they will probably not be a six figure seller, but it is a victory nonetheless.

A milestone, a goal, whatever you want to call it, as soon as we hit that publish button we have reached a point. We will take time and celebrate and then we'll move on to the real work of market. As you go about your writing journey, keep the big picture in mind, but ask yourself, what are you milestones and your goals to get to that big picture?

Promotion & Marketing

A lot of being successful in publishing is promotion and marketing, when you self-publish all of that falls on your shoulders. So what can you do and how much does it cost? You can do a lot, and as it turns out a lot can be done for free.

Since I am still new to all of this and I'm on the verge of self-publishing my first book I am overwhelmed by both promotion and marketing.... But I have a plan.

I am going to utilize the free social media sites I am already on:

Facebook

Twitter

and Google+

But I am still going to strive for the 80/20 rule. 80 % of what I post isn't direct marketing and the other 20% of the time I will be selling myself hardcore.

Another avenue I really suppose I should dive into is Tumblr. But I am still floundering in my ignorance of that site.

Next up are the book sites:

Goodreads

Smashwords

Shelfari

Booktagger

And I might check into some other sites like: Authors Den, and Internet Book Database.

I might even travel down the crazy road of Press Releases, there are a number of sites that have free press release distribution.

Cross promotion can be helpful too, I have seen it work well for several self-published authors. When my book, Waking Up In Bedlam, comes out I will be running some cross promotions with a fellow self-published author A.L. Kessler and with Alexandra. Cross promotion can run the gambit in terms of what you want to do, it can be anything from hosting giveaways on eachothers blogs, facebook pages, or even something as easy as hosting an interview, a cover reveal. All of our cross promotions will be revealed later.

Next up on my promotion and marketing list will be a blog hop, I am already signed up for it and it will run very near to the time with Waking Up In Bedlam will be released so it will be perfect. I've never done a blog hop and I am definitely nervous about it but I'm looking forward to getting my name out there a bit more.

Last but not least on my list is Book Reviews. This one makes my tummy flutter with ten thousand butterflies. It really did seem like an easy task, simply find sites to review your book, give them a copy in exchange for an honest review... But the more I looked into sites that I knew did book reviews I found most of them no longer reviewed Indie/Self-Published authors. I found myself back at square one, luckily I've found a few sites that review self-published authors and they review the genre of Paranormal Romance, which is what I write. One thing I've learned about book review sites is when you send them a request to review your book make sure to make the email personal, they don't like to get a blanket email that was obviously sent out to several sites all at once. So when I send out my requests it will personal emails only and then I will sit back and cross my fingers and hope for the best.

I'm sure after a couple of releases all of this will like second nature to me but this is without a doubt very stressful. I think I've gained some gray hairs from thinking and over-thinking all of this stuff. But if it helps me to reach readers that I might have not been able to reach than every gray hair will be worth it. I love my story and I want it to reach as many people who will hopefully love it just as much as I do. That is the goal, share my story.

Showing Support

Indie writers need support. Doing this whole self-publishing thing is a long and lonely road without support. You need to establish fans, friends, and network your ass off. Seriously. This isn’t a road for the lazy to travel and unfortunately for me I do tend to have a huge lazy bone.

We can make all the excuses we like (and I do!) but the bottom line is when deadlines are looming sometimes life gets in the way and other times we just forget. Today is one of my (many) “forgetful” days. Between life being chaotic and looming self-imposed deadlines stressing me out I have once again forgotten my SPE post. Luckily for me I had already figured out what I wanted to write about, which was supporting those who support you. Isn’t it advantageous that my forgetfulness works into a post about support? Why yes, yes it is.

Anyways, so here I was lying in bed nursing one of my killer headaches that usually lays me out for at least a full day when I get an inbox from Alex gently reminding me that today was my SPE posting day. Alas, when it needs to be done you drag yourself out of bed, pull up your boot straps and get to work. That is what I am doing now.

Now Alex didn’t send me a bitchy email saying “Hey lazy, get off your ass and post! You are messing up my blog!” No, instead she was supportive, knowing what a busy morning I’ve had, she knew that I had just finished eating and was dealing with a headache, it was a gentle nudge, a reminder not a demand. If my headache was already to the point of no return then I wouldn’t have been able to get up and start typing but it is at a moderate pain level that I can deal with for the time being, so I let her know I’d be getting to it. Communication. It is key in every type of relationship, professional or personal, you will ever have. Alexandra and I communicate, if I’m feeling under the weather I let her know, if I forget something she lets me know.

On the Twisted Tales blog we are on there are seven different writers all with different schedules, family lives, spouses, significant others, children, no children, pets, jobs, obligations. We can’t always get our posts out on time, but we try and when we can’t we let the rest of the writers know. Not because we are obligated to, but to communicate so that everyone knows what is going on.  And when we post we do our best to promote everyone’s writing, not just our own. We tag, we share links, and we spread the word for all of us.

Support. It’s a huge thing, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps you going.

Support from colleagues is the same as it is from fans and friends who support your writing. When a friend of mine posts a link to one of my projects, or my author page, or recommends that people follow one of my blogs I always do my best to acknowledge them. These people who recommend my page, or share a link to our blogs, they are doing so because they like what they read and want to share it with others. They aren’t asking for a kickback, they do it because they are great people, great friends and as such I am always extremely grateful.

  

I’ve seen other people who do not acknowledge when a fan shares a link and tags them in a post praising their books, but that is not my style, I can’t be like that. I’ve seen some people flat out ignore fans comments or questions in a thread because they are too busy sharing inside jokes with their close friends. I always think to myself, “I never want to exclude anyone.”

This is all just my own, personal little musing on how I want to conduct myself as a professional. I want to cultivate relationships (friendly relationships, get your minds out of the gutter) with the people who support me. I never want people to see my every post on social networking as “Oh poor me, come listen to me have a pity party for myself. Nobody likes me. I’m getting rid of all my friends. If you don’t talk to me then why are you on my friends list?” kind of thing. Everyone has their moments (and my personal page is different from my author page. On my personal page you will probably see the random bitching about my husband who just did some really dumb thing that made me mad, or you might see me posting about my kids… And honestly a whole lot of food pics but my author page has none of that). We all have our sour moments in life, but we should never be sour when it comes to people showing us love and support.

I got my start writing again in the role playing world, because of that I always try to show mad love to the RPers on Facebook, I promote them on The Indie Writers’ Collective and on my personal page. I show love to other authors that I enjoy reading, the authors I write with at Twisted Tales, and to my friends. My friends, most of whom I’ve met through social media and Facebook Role-Playing, they keep me going. They encourage me and pick me up when I’m feeling down. But even the people who are on my friends list that I am not close with (yet) I still show as much support as possible. Even if it is somebody I don’t talk to, I still enjoy seeing their posts in my newsfeed and “like” their posts.

I hope that one day when I’m an attending author at a convention and someone from FB comes up that they are actually excited to meet me because I’ve been accessible online to them. And yes, I realize that being a featured (or attending) author at a convention is a huge pipe-dream, but you just never know, it might happen for me one day.

And so in this crazy, lonely, scary world of Self-Publishing relationships and support are key.

That is my goal, no matter what happens in my writing career. I will support others and be kind. You never know what someone else might be going through or dealing with, a “like” or a nice comment can sometimes turn someone’s day around and that makes taking a second to show some appreciation, a like-back, or posting a random *hug* to someone who has supported me is totally worth it.

 
<3

Cultivating My Brand & Progress

This is an exciting and frightening time for me.

When +Alexandra Webb  first asked me if I wanted to be part of this experiment I instantly said yes and as the months have passed I have come to realize the importance and the seriousness of that answer. Who would have thought that one simple word—just three little letters would alter my life so dramatically. But it has and it will continue to do so. Every move I make on social media, every blog post, every Tweet, every Facebook status on my author page, every comment has to be carefully weighed against my brand as an author. And yes, authors are brands in and of themselves.  Granted I am a small name, practically unheard of brand, but it is my brand I am trying to cultivate.

At the beginning we each knew we were going to need a “SPE Project” the one work we were going to use to break into the Self-Publishing business to try to make names for ourselves, to see how hard this industry really is to become successful, and to catalog our ups, our downs, our hits and all of our misses. My project for SPE is “Waking Up In Bedlam” and as for my downs, here they are: I’ve been stuck on Chapter 12 for over a month now. I am procrastinating, sometimes not even consciously, sometimes I think the fear of reaching for my dreams triggers something in my brain that says “Let’s take a break even though you’ve only written 12 words and play “Where’s My Perry” for a little bit.” And off I go. Because it is frightening when you are reaching for your dreams. And as the famous quote goes:

 If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.

I’ve seen this attributed to Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Albert Einstein, Eminem, Winston Churchill, and Dr. Seuss. I don’t really care who said it (although it is quoted in Madam President Sirleaf’s book, so let’s just go with that), it is the truth. Your dreams should scare the ever-loving-crap out of you. End of Story. And every move you make should be pushing you towards that goal. So yes, I procrastinate. I play “Where’s My Perry” when I should be concentrating, I slack and get distracted by Facebook posts and even worst Facebook drama. But I always manage to pull myself back and remind myself that just because I’m scared of what it will mean for my life when I finish this project that I am only ever a failure, a true failure if I do not try.

So I am still trying. And for the record, Chapter 12 is the last chapter in Waking Up In Bedlam, so far it stands at 52k+ and I’ve already sent Chapters 1-9 out to some of my beta readers, I’ve already gotten feedback and things are looking good. Even while procrastinating my efforts are still going towards my dream and my goal. While I’m playing my stupid Perry game on my iPad I am usually combing through the previous chapters, fixing little things here and there. Even when I’m not posting about my progress I am still focused while goofing off.

I read my manuscript from Prologue to Chapter 12 at least once a week, to alter, edit and make sure I’m not overlooking stuff.  Self-Publishing gets a bad rap for having spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, looking unprofessional, with shoddy editing, and plot holes.  I am striving to make sure that I can polish this baby as best as I can, that I take all of my beta readers advice and suggestions and that I do all that I can so that I do not fall into that stereotype.

I have this reoccurring nightmare that when my book is released it is so bad that I become the most hated person on the internet, the people in my small town all revolt against me and drag me out to the center of town and burn me at the stake with the ONE copy of my book that sold. I wake up in a cold sweat, panting and breathless, usually in tears or screaming. My poor dog and husband probably think I’ve gone insane. I am a writer, I think it is safe to say that my sanity-boat sailed a long time ago.

I don’t want to be burned at the stake, I don’t want to be roasted on the proverbial pyres of the internet either. I am my brand, my brand is me and I want to succeed, even if it means taking longer than I had hoped for the final product.

So where does Waking Up In Bedlam stand as of now? We are at 52k, one chapter left to write. Three chapters left to send out to my beta readers, then it is time to start the editing process. After a couple of rounds of that and final edits it will be good to go. I am aiming for mid-July.

I am also taking an online course for self-editing called “BeforeYou Hit Send” by Angela James. I’m hoping that will help me because I know grammar isn’t my strong suit and because I know I have a lot to learn.

One thing I can say is this: I am proud of myself. I’m proud that I am sticking with this even if it is slow going. I am proud that I am taking steps to get my name out there, to have my name in constant publication, I do that with the Twisted Tales blog. It is a project that is far more than just writing a fun little fairytale, it is more ways of cultivating my brand, my name and having a body of work that others can enjoy on a reoccurring schedule. I am proud that I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to do things like take the “Before You Hit Send” course and setting up my “Smashwords” acct in anticipation of publishing Waking Up In Bedlam. I am proud that my beta readers and friends like my story. I love when they email me that a piece of dialog made them laugh or that they want more. Those things make me feel incredibly good.  It lets me know that I am on the right track.

As for my reoccurring nightmare, I think in time it will pass. I know there will always be haters. People will hate on me and my books without even reading them. I know this, it is the nature of the internet.  I know I will get drive-by 1 star ratings from people who dislike me personally, or don’t like paranormal romance, or who think using the word “cock” means I should burn in hell. These are bound to happen, that I am prepared for. What I fear is letting myself and the people that believe in me down. That would be the worst.

When Something Is Missing

I have been going over my latest NaNo project after deciding that I will be using that as my first self-published short story. I have set a deadline for the first draft which be the end of February but I have run into a snag. The story is “alright” but it is missing something. I can’t put my finger on it, maybe it is missing more description. I think that is one of my biggest issues is that I tend to overlook detailed descriptions because I am always afraid of being “long winded” and boring the reader. So my writing tends to be fast pace and I’m guessing that isn’t a good thing.

So the question I’ve been grappling with this past week is: What do you do when a story needs more?

What do you add, where can you elaborate? Will it be seen as just filler or will it help the reader?

I know that I should just write and anything that isn’t necessary will be caught during edits, but it’s something that I worry about and therefore it is something I get hung up on and can’t move past.

I fear that getting hung up on this is going to derail my goals.

Sorry this post isn’t something more informative, it is just a little rant that I needed to get off my chest.