Where You Write

Where you write can make all the difference. For me, it can make or break my concentration.

If I am sitting on the couch (as long as there isn’t something distracting on the TV) I can be productive. My kids playing video games, not a problem. But put on a TV show or movie, even one I’ve seen a dozen times, and I’m lost. But I love to sit on the couch because we have a big window that lets me look out into the world and I don’t feel so trapped.

If I am sitting at the dining room table I’m good to go as long as everyone is doing their own thing, because it drives me nuts if people are walking behind me and trying to look at my computer screen. So it’s not an ideal place seeing as how as soon as I whip out my laptop the whole house turns into Spy vs. Spy and tries to look over mom’s shoulder.

My next option is sitting at my sons school computer desk, that would be great, but it runs the same risks as the dining room table seeing as how it is in the same room.

Moving on… My last hiding place is my bedroom, where I actually have a desk, but do I get to sit at the desk? Nope, because my comfy office chair has been taken over by everyone else. It can either be found in front of my son’s computer or in the living room parked right in front of the TV/Xbox. And since I never use the desk it has become a holding station for all items in the house that have no home of their own.

That leave my bed. I actually do like working there but only for short periods of time. My legs get sore sitting cross-legged and eventually my firm mattress wreaks havoc on my lower back.

Can I get work done in these places? Yes, if I really stay focused. But will it be productive work? More likely than not, no unless the atmosphere is right and distraction free. Right now is a very productive, ideal writing time. As I write this I am on the couch, my son is at his computer so the TV is off, the house is quiet and this is actually the second blog post I’ve pounded out this hour. It’s quite productive out here. If I were in my room I would have maybe made it through half of the first one and then called it quits. At the dining room table wouldn’t have worked either because my son would be more tempted to say “Mom, I need your help.” Even though he really doesn’t.

So my spot, at least for now, is the couch. That is the spot that makes all the difference in my being productive. I can work, for the most part, uninterrupted and distraction free. Until 4:30 hits and everyone else gets home, flips on the TV and totally messes up my writing juju.

Do you have a place where you find you are more productive? Is there a spot you know once you sit down you won’t get anything done? Are you distracted by the TV? Music? Birds outside the window? Let us know in the comments.

The BLOCK

There are writers who claim that there's no such thing as writer's block, but then later will tell you they are in a slump and can't write. Sometimes it is because they write so much in a day/week/year that they get burt out, other times it's caused by nothing that has to do with writing, and other times it's because of doubt. No matter the cause or what you refer to it as, something will block you at some point. I'm in that point right now, I know what's causing it and it's an uncontrollable factor, but I know I can't just sit here and stare at a black page. No. I go through different things that will get the words, no matter how bad, flowing. Since I know I'm not the only person with this problem I decided to tell you how I deal with the block.

1) Take a hot shower. That sounds strange I know, but the heat helps clear my mind from the stressed of the day and allow me to focus on what needs to be done. It helps relax me, if I'm relaxed I can work.

2) Work in my note book instead of on the computer. There's something a little less intimidating about a loved notebook than a glowing computer screen. Be it brain storming, hand writing out a scene, or just brain dumping, it helps.

3) Brain dumping: writing, drawing, anything that represents what is currently occupying my mind. This is something I do when I'm stressed. Worries, fears, stresses, hopes, grocery lists....all kinds of things come out during this time.

4) Set small goals. 500 words. Simple to hit. 500 is better than 0.

5) Sprints. Do nothing but write for a certain amount of time, I normally do this with other writers and we compare word counts after.

6) Music. Enough said.

Remember, getting the words down is the first step, then you can focus on editing and polishing up. So no matter what, get some type of progress done during your dedicated writing time/days. Blocks will happen, but you can move past them.

Quitter or Failure?

When does a writer become classified as a failure? Who makes that decision? Is there a secret number that if you don’t hit it you are forever ranked as a failure?

There seems to be this idea from non-writers that if the author they know hasn’t hit the New York Times Best Seller List then they’ve failed. I don’t agree, but there comes a time when you probably need to reevaluate what you are doing if you aren’t hitting the goals you set for yourself. (As long as they are realistic goals)

A couple of things happened this past week that have caused me a bit of self-doubt and admittedly some tears and made me wonder when someone becomes known as a failure. Is it after they try to do everything that everyone says works and steering clear of the things that supposedly don't work? Or is it just as simple as, they are a failure when they think they are one?

1) I see authors behaving badly on social media. Responding to bad reviews, calling out their friends for not buying their books, bad mouthing other authors, and throwing themselves pity parties all because they’ve been doing this for so long and have nothing to show for it.

They do the one thing that every single Marketing book says not to do and yet they are top-selling in their genre. Although if you listen to them they are barely selling, but look at their numbers and they are tops in their genre.

This leads me to believe that maybe people really do inherently flock to drama. Maybe these authors aren’t so much “behaving badly” as they are marketing geniuses!

That’s crazy, you say? Really? On any given post on social media by an author bashing a bad review, talking about giving up because sales are low, or threatening to cull their friends lists to get rid of “haters” you will find – I shit you not- between 25-100+ comments on those threads. Either backing up the authors claims that the bad review is bullying, ego stroking them to tell them not to quit and recommending friends to buy the authors books, or begging to stay in that author’s “Inner Circle” because they are such loyal fans.

It’s a marketing win! Hello! These people are getting fresh exposure whenever they do these posts. It’s genius.

I still won’t go that route… But hey, they found something that works, and even better not a lot people do it (since we all read the books that say it’s a no-no). They reap the benefits. Good on them, but it still leaves me feeling blah about my own marketing. And so, I need to reevaluate my plan. Their plan won’t work for me but my current plan isn’t working so well either.

2) The other issue comes from family. Extended family, but family none the less. I could probably just leave it at that, since Family, even distant family, always knows how to hurt you most. They know the weak spots in our armor.

An extended family member asked me how my “little writing thing” was going. When I said, “It’s going.” They asked how many books I’ve sold… I hate that question. It seems so inappropriate. I would never ask someone how much money was in their bank account or how much cash they have in their wallet, but for some reason being invasive is okay when the person is merely writing “little stories”.

Anyways, I told them my numbers and they gave me one of these --> O.O <-- looks and said, “Wow… That’s it? I think it’s safe to say it’s time to throw in the towel and call it a good try.”

I didn’t feel up to arguing after that ego punch so I simply nodded and walked away. When I got home I let it eat at me. In truth it is still eating at me. I started looking at all the things I am doing wrong…

I’m spending too much time with my family. I could be writing more if we didn’t go do things or if I sent my kids to tutoring instead of helping them with homework. I spend too much time with my animals. I could probably learn something like formatting if I didn’t give them so much of my attention… But honestly these are things that I will not give up.

So I started looking at the other wrongs I’ve committed: I don’t have a dedicated editor. I rely on beta readers and numerous rounds of edits. Sure I’ve had people (several different people) edit my books, but I have no one who I have their full attention because the people I work with also write for themselves and have work of their own to do. So I started scanning the internet trying to find someone affordable… Still waiting on that.

I don’t know how to format. I have to rely on others and hope that I am not imposing on their time to get my stuff formatted.

I don’t know HTML… That could be useful too.

As my extended family member reminded me the other day: Successful authors pay for editing, formatting, and web-based stuff… Hell they have assistants, street teams, agents, etc… And I am here trying to do it by myself with the help of friends and trying to offset favors with trades and in the end feeling like I am spread too thing and failing.

I told my husband the other night “I’d rather quit than be a failure.” He said, “You’re only a failure if you quit.” (Which is what Alex said to me too.)

Would I really quit? No, not really. I just needed to say it out loud for a moment and embrace my own private pity party. I’ve been writing and telling stories long before anyone cared to read them. So no I am not quitting.

I don’t have huge sales, I’m not selling 50 books a month. I don’t have 100+ comments on my posts, but in the end what I do have is a handful of real friends who read what I write and tell me they love it. I have some solid reviews, even if they don’t number in the thousands. And lastly, I have my kids and ironically an estranged husband who are proud of me for doing what I am doing and for not giving up and who will always indulge me when I need to cry, or vent, or have myself a pity party.

That’s really all I need. I’m not here with delusions of making it big, hitting #1 spots on lists, or to have 5000 friends. I’m here for me, my stories, and for my friends and family who support me in this adventure.

Am I still feeling blah? Sure, but later today I’ll fire up Scrivener and write some more, because I can’t – not write – it’s in my blood and if I stopped I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

P.S. After writing this all up I received an email about my Ellora’s Cave book, I got my first blog review for Twisted Revenge and it was a 4.5 star review. That helped make this day less gloomy. So while that has nothing to do with the self-publishing aspect it serves as a reminder: There’s always a silver lining.

Pulling Through

So I went out and got a day job and let me tell you how much it's kicking my ass. Between my other personality and my edits for Black and White Desires I'm exhausted. Here's the deal though, no matter what I have to hit deadlines, self set or publisher set they are there. Yes some deadlines get moved because of shit that's uncontrollable. But that's not what's happening to me, nope, I have done this to myself. So what do I do when I'm so exhausted?

I do the unhealthy thing and down some energy drinks, work late into the night, and work whenever I can. I'm hoping some of it slows down after the first of the year, but I tell you what...next year looks like a wild ride too.

Mia and I will start our new adventure of cowriting a series together in hopes of getting our name more out there. Were most of our stuff leans towards Erotic, this will be paranormal romance and I can't wait to share it with you guys. No matter what life throws at us, we will pull through, together. I want to take a moment to thank those of you who have taken this journey with us. We are still learning and it continues as Mia's real work starts with marketing and I work through Black and White Desires. 

Hope you all enjoy the ride. :D

What's Next and Being Thankful

This was supposed to go up yesterday but what can I say, I've been a bit out of sorts lately. For those of us in the States it is Thanksgiving, a time to be thankful for what you have and sit around with loved ones stuffing our faces with way too much food. I am so very thankful for all of the support I've been given in the wake of some personal goings-on in my life and for my friends who took time out of their days and nights to keep my book release on schedule. I am equally thankful for everyone who has read Waking Up In Bedlam.

So this year while everyone else is nodding off in a food coma from too much turkey I am sitting on my couch reflecting on what this past year has given me and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year.

This year has been rough, I won't lie, it has been down right dirty. Between life and personal issues, to deadlines, to having a plan and having to then rearrange everything because an amazing opportunity got handed to us, to then having to cram for short deadlines, to this book release, to my first experience with a publishing house and my first round of edits back from them, to these holidays that are going to be a personal trail by fire for me. But at the end of the day I am thankful for the fact that I am still standing, not all of my deadlines got met but I didn't let the opportunity that I wasn't expecting slip out of my hands either. I busted my ass on juggling projects. Some days it was hard, other days it was easy. That's life. And I am thankful for all of it. The ups and downs, dark clouds and silver linings, good days and the bad.

And lastly I am grateful to the friends and readers who have recommended my book to others. I really am still struggling with promotion and marketing so the word of mouth from readers is great. Thank you.

What's next? Hell if I know. That's the truth. I have a project with +Alexandra Webb, we should be wrapped up near the beginning of December (I think). She'll start cracking the whip after Thanksgiving she said. I'm very excited for this project and hopefully it will be the first of many. Next on the list is finishing up a project that is called Steamworks, it was my NaNo and life derailed and took that story with it. And I am slowly plugging away at Waking Up In Chains, the sequel to Waking Up In Bedlam. I can't wait to get that story out. The main characters are just starting to get a little chatty in my brain so hopefully they will start shouting at me soon.

The Curious Case Of Blurb Writing

One of the plus sides of self-publishing is that you don't have to write a complete synopsis or a query letter. Yay for that, but you still have to write a blurb (or short synopsis) for your book. It either goes up on every digital site your sell or advertise your book listing or it goes on the back of your paperback, and in most cases it goes to both. It is vital to have one, otherwise no one will know what your book is about and you'd better make it a good one otherwise no one will want to read your hard work.

I really hate blurb writing. Hate it with a capital H. It's no fun, and I'm pretty sure I've gained some gray hair just from trying to come up with two coherent paragraphs about my book. And revision after revision and even seeing it on the back of my paperback proof I am still questioning whether it is good enough. Because let's be honest here, in self-publishing “good enough” is never, EVER, “good enough”. You can't just be good if you want to succeed, you have to be great, fantastic, amazing. And this isn't about making money, when I say “if you want to succeed” I'm talking about gaining fans, having people recommend your book, and people enjoying your vision. That is success. But you can't just be good, a lot of people are good. You have to stand out.

Years ago I wrote to one of my idols, Gary Gygax, if you don't know who the man is then Google him. He is known as the father of D&D. I had this idea, an RPG (you know, the paper and pencil kind, not a video game), it was a world I'd created from years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, Rifts, and Gamma World. Even better I'd written scores of stories based on the adventures that all of our characters had played. P.S. If you didn't know: Dragons of Autumn Twilight, the first novel of the Dragonlance Chronicles series, was written based on D&D sessions played by the authors, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, along with other friends (some of them went on to be Dragonlance authors as well). So my idea wasn't completely loony. Anyway, I wrote to him asking him how in the world do I go about breaking into this business. Amazingly he responded. His advice was simple, be great. He said that the downside is that RPG fans are amazingly creative, the game is made for you to think and be as creative as possible. Which mean that they all have great ideas, great worlds, maps, and therefore there are a lot of them out there trying to do the same thing as me. So if I wanted my world to stand out it had to be better than good, it had to be great. It had to be something different, because a lot of people where doing the same thing as me. He also said to not give up, keep trying. Many years later, I am still trying and not giving up.

I think this same thing applies to authors, we are all creative, otherwise we wouldn't be writing about all of these fanciful worlds and characters. This is a competitive industry because of that level of creativity. That is not to say you can't give support to your fellow authors, you should. You should promote the hell out of them, and vice versa, because as indie authors if we don't have each others backs then we all suffer. But you can't just be good, you have to be great. And the first thing a reader sees is your cover, after that it's your blurb. If you get the formula right it will hook the reader, and that is what you want obviously. So the stress of writing a great blurb can be the cause for late nights, stress breakouts, and gray hair.

There are a couple of different formula's out there for writing the “perfect” blurb. Do they work? I'm sure that they do, but the thing about a formula is that you still have to put your words down on paper and all the equations in the world sometimes don't help.

I've found one that I really do like, it's simple and helps you flesh out what you need to say. I found this months ago on Twitter and I figure passing it on to whoever it might help will put some pebbles in my good karma jar, so whenever I see someone stressing over a blurb (or synopsis) I always pass along this link:

http://mikewellsblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/secret-formula-for-creating-short.html

As for my blurb for Waking Up In Bedlam, here it is (although I am still unsure if it is captivating enough, I suppose time will tell).

Waking Up In Bedlam



Ryder is a fake- and he knows it. He spends his days pretending to be a paranormal investigator and his nights entertaining groups of believers with his claims of communicating with the dead. Life is good and business is booming until the night a beautiful woman storms out of his seminar and a mysterious man drops an unexplainable case in his lap. Ryder finds out the world he thought was fake is actually real and even worse, he has become the paranormal world's most wanted.


Jessa wants answers and the human, Ryder, is the only one who can give them to her. She has one goal, keep him alive long enough to figure our why he has been haunting her dreams. The only problem is the more time she spends with him the more she realizes the answers she seeks are ones she isn't ready to face.


Can either one of them accept what fate has laid out for them? Or will they fight their destiny at the cost of everyone they hold dear?

 Available November 14, 2013

Formatting Is A Bitch

For me anyways, there has been no bigger bitch than formatting. Not just the interior but the exterior of my book as well. I used templates provided by CreateSpace and it still took me over two weeks to get it right.

Now granted I did have anyone right here telling me what to do either, I asked Alexandra when I'd run into major problems (and that girl loves formatting! For her it is enjoyable, for me it is nothing but a giant headache). She offered that if I couldn't get it then she could do it for me, but I figured that this was one aspect that I needed to figure out myself. Unfortunately it was a massive pain in the ass, but eventually it all got settled.

So what went wrong, even when using templates? Quite honestly, I still have no idea on some of the errors. But here's the breakdown:

I used the formatted Template for 6x9 paperback on CreateSpace. All you really have to do in this template is copy and paste chapter by chapter, type in your title, author name, dedications, acknowledgement. The margins (gutter margins, headers, etc) are already in place for you as is the spacing for the start of the chapters. It's set up pretty easy, or at least should have been easy.

Now some of my two weeks was spent just being extremely cautious, because I'd never done this before, I was uber careful and went back over everything I copied and pasted to make sure everything laid out perfectly.

Anyways, the problems I ran into is I wanted to use the cool looking font I used on my cover on my title page. Shouldn't be a big deal, but oh boy was it! First off if you are using a True Type font, congratz! Ding! You've leveled up and can go about your merry way. Most of the time those fonts automatically embed in your document (this is assuming you use the template for MSWord). If they don't embed then it's still pretty easy; you simply go to:

Tools> Options> Save> and from there you just check the little box next to "Embed True Type Fonts". 

Done. If however, you (like me) find yourself using OTF (Open Type Fonts) well buddy…. Be prepared for your formatted file to be rejected. MS Word can't embed OTF's and if you have your heart set on it then your gonna have to switch your game plan.

I was set on it, and determined to figure it out. You have a couple options for submitting your files to CreateSpace, one is MSWord, the other is PDF. So smarty-pants me thought, well I'll do it as a PDF and see if I can outsmart the system. Nope. Didn't work. Back to the drawing board. I looked all through the top bar menu on Adobe and couldn't for the life of me find a way to embed fonts on PDF. I gave up for a day, took a breather and OD'd on chocolate. When I came back I got on Google and did a search "How to embed OTF's in a PDF". I got a hit! Huzzah! It was a video tutorial on how to embed fonts in a PDF. Here's the break down.

Have your file open in adobe (obviously)

Go to: Tools (on the right hand side of your screen)

Then go to: Print Production (if it isn't in the immediate window go to tiny little drop down menu in the far right corner for show/hide panels and click on Print Production there. It will add it to your tools menu)

Next go to: Preflight

A box will open up and load your file and bring up a new menu

From there simple click "embed fonts" 

Then click "Analyze and Fix"

The program will thing for a moment and (if all goes well) it will give you a green check mark and you are good to go.

Save and close.

The second problem I had was the numbering on my extra pages at the beginning. The formatted template numbers everything past the copyright page in i, ii, iii, iv, v, vi, and so on. But it also has a blank page between dedication, acknowledgements, table of contents. And the formatting leave any page that is blank without a number, so my sequence was blank page, ii, blank page, iv, blank page, vi, and then the start of the actual book. The system rejected it due to the numbering sequence. After taking another breather before I murdered my computer I went in and deleted all of the page numbering before the start of the book. In my mind those pages don't really need numbers. No one has ever said to me "Oh turn to page iii, this acknowledgement is totally gripping, it's a must read!"

So after three submissions my PDF with embedded fonts and deleted numbering was finally accepted… Party time! Right? Nope. Next came the cover issues.

This one blew my mind because I've made covers for other authors using the exactly same templates from CreateSpace and they have never had a cover rejected, but I go to submit mine and it is rejected due to the font going into the bleed space… But it really wasn't. I mean, hello, I know how to define a bleed space, I would never put text there… Well as it turns out, my version of "that looks perfectly acceptable" and CreateSpace's version of it are two totally different things. My font that I used on my cover and title page I also used on the spine of the book, but said font is very "frilly" it has little off shoot filigree that comes off the text, little doo-dads, etc. that did in fact go into the bleed space. My thinking was it's no biggie if they get cut off because they are just inconsequential little flares, CreateSpace however saw them as important parts of the word and there for bumped it back to me.

In the end they won that battle, I changed the font on the spine to something a bit more mainstream and called it battle lost, I'd won the battle of embedding fonts and the number sequencing scrimmage. So in the end we called it Mia: 2 CreateSpace: 1, signed the peace treaty that saved my laptop and sanity from dying a slow painful death and the proof's of Waking Up In Bedlam were order!

So I have 5 proofs/ARC's. They arrived this week and I am very excited <3

The home stretch and the end of your rope.

I'm writing this for Mia, because she's in the home stretch *cheers*. She's ordered her ARCs from Createspace for the paper backs so she and a few others can go through and look for last grammar changes and typos. While all of you are cheering her on, this is what I want to explain to you. This process isn't easy. Trying to balance it with life, isn't easy, none of this shit is easy. There are hours of stress involved, working with Betas, working with covers, an editor and getting ready to release your baby into the world. Those who say that they have no anxiety over releasing a book or a short story are lying to you. In their head they are wondering about bad reviews, missed typos, and haters. There is sleep loss at night and long days of preparing.

So what does an author do when they get to the end of their rope? The home stretch is right there within their reach and it just seems that the world is piling more and more on top of them? The same thing anyone else does. They vent, they breath, they step back, once things ebb a little bit, they get back to it. By things I mean stress. There are deadlines to meet, even in the self-publishing world. Deadlines get things done, stress is a part of that. There are other stresses that aren't writing related, family, jobs (not all writers get to stay at home), health and so on. I can't tell you what Mia does, but I can tell you what I do.

I make a list, things get priorities, does it have to be done by that date? Okay, it gets moved to the top of the list, anything with a due date before that is moved above it. That helps me get a realistic look at what is going on. When it comes to family, obviously they take priority, but I know my situation isn't the same as everyone. I have great friends who help me when it comes to crunch time, they help watch my child for a day while I get work done.  When it comes to health...well to be honest I don't take the best care of myself, but I do know when it's time to say I have to nap with the baby instead of work. The newest thing I do when life tries to drag me down, I run. My thoughts go like this when I approach the treadmill. "This is going to be 30 minutes I could use for something else." I get on, throw on some angry music and go for it. I always feel better after and I always sleep better those nights. It's a win win....

Here's the thing, you have to find what works for you. This is a stressful career, you need to find a way to help curb that stress a little. Meditation, walking, just sitting for a little bit. You won't get anything done if you're too stressed out to think. All work and no play makes Jake a dull boy. Remember that. You don't want to go crazy or you'll burn yourself out. Take time for you, even if that just means switching to a project without a deadline for a little bit.

Let us all wish Mia good luck with Waking up in Bedlam! We all want to see it on the shelf and will be cheering her on as she runs that home stretch! <3

Balancing

Life is a balancing act. We all know that and some times the best plans fall through the cracks. I hate when that happens. I'm a scheduler. I like to know what time, when, and where long before it's supposed to happen. However, that rarely happens. I live in a house with my husband, my child, two cats, seven puppies (outside) and one adult dog (also outside), but my life can get unpredictable. So can my writing. I know you've all been waiting eagerly for Mia's Waking up and Bedlam, and I hope you've all been just as eagerly waiting for my In Black and White. The thing is, our writing life kind of caught us by surprised, dragged us under, and held us hostage.

We were both contracted to write books for Ellora's Cave. Crazy, I know. But as this blog is about Self-Publishing, I'll keep that business to a minimum, because obviously, that is not part of SPE. That being said, we've both been busy trying to balance everything, and that's going to happen to you.

As an author, you don't just write one project and say 'I'm done!' Especially as an indie author. If you read any of the marketing books out there for authors, I can promise you with in the top 5 ways to market, "Write the next book." Will be one of them. Okay, well you can write the next book after you edit, spit polish and shine and release the first one, right? Well, that depends on the type of release schedule you want to have and how many series you have. Typically in the traditional author world, it takes about a year for the next book in the series to come, some times six months. And fans are willing to wait for that, especially if they love the author. It can work that way in the Indie world too, but you don't want people to forget your name.

Now, I'm not telling you to write crap and throw it out there, because you want quality, but quantity counts for something too. My point is, never stop writing, figure out how to balance your life, your kids, your husband, your work. Stop making excuses like 'I'm too busy' or 'my day job sucks the life out of me'. I get that. I do, when I wrote one of my first novels I was working three jobs. I wrote on Lunch, between shifts, and late at night, granted I was young then, but I managed. On top of that, learn to roll with the punches, sometimes you have to put a project on hold, or sometimes something unexpected happens for it. Black and White is in limbo until I hear back about something pretty specific for it. It drives me nuts, but I have to work with it.

There's an experiment in Chris Baty's No Plot, No Problem, that I thought worked great for finding time to write. Take an spreadsheet, and put times down the side of it, starting when you wake up and going to your typical bed time. Now, track what you do each hour of your day, once you've done that for a week, go back and look at it. Anything that could be consider a time waister (I.E. Playing Candy Crush on Facebook and hour before bed. Watching that TV show you're really not into, but it was on anyways.) highlight it in red. Now look at that, really look at it and you will see when you can fit writing in.

Here's a glance at my typical weekday (I normally take weekends off for more family time.):
5:30am: Get up, make husband his lunch and breakfast
6:00am: Go back to bed. (you'll see why I do this in a bit.)
8:00am: Get up with daughter, get ready for the day, make both of us breakfast
8:45am: Feed dogs and cats, make sure there are still 7 puppies.
9:00am-11:30am: Spend time with daughter, work with her on shapes and colors, play games, attempt to work with letters. (if there is any independent play time here, I use it to do chores and occasional research.) some times go to the park, that kind of thing.
11:30: Lunch time
12:00 (some times 12:15): Daughter goes down for nap, I work on what ever is on my to-do-list. (writing, editing, blogging etc.)
2:30ish: Daughter gets up from nap, so we read, chase her around, love on her.
5:00pm: Start dinner
6:00pm: Eat dinner
6:30pm: bath time for daughter
7:00pm: Bed time for daughter, work out time for mommy. (this is normally a 30 min run)
7:30pm: Shower
8:00pm-12am: Work, writing, editing, whatever is on my list. My rule is, if I'm too tired to work, I have to go to bed. I can't play games until midnight
3:00am: Get up, feed cat.

So that's kind of how my day goes, I'm sure there are little details missing, but I tend to get a lot done during the day. The point of this post? Balance your life, find the time to get shit done, stop making excuses.

The Wrongness of Public Shaming (Two Parts)

My post for this week was all but done when Alex pointed something out about the source of my post… What if it wasn't 100% true, or worse what if it were just a marketing ploy… So that started the research. What we found was that not everything in some recent blog posts were true, or it was half-truths, or that if it was true there was no proof… So now I have to revise my post and really I should have known better, always check the facts. Maybe that should be my post next time. But here it is, now broken into two parts: When Trolls Attack and Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right.

Bottom line is this: Public Shaming of anyone is wrong, we have become this culture of blood thirsty vipers who like to gather in masses to abuse, shame, and verbally attack one person or a group of people we feel like we are better than. It's disgusting and in this one instance it was from both sides. Both are wrong, and no one is a winner in this little internet war.

Part One: When Trolls Attack

Anyone who's been on any sort of social media this week (yes, it is only Wednesday but whatever) has seen the brouhaha over trolls attacking authors and their fans. Even if you've missed this week's installment of “When Trolls Attack” you know you've seen at least 10 previous episodes and next week I'm sure there will be a whole new line up for us all to sit back and shake our heads at as it unfolds in our social media newsfeeds.

Haters... They're a bitch. No, seriously, they are.

We waste so much time on them, they interrupt our lives, they distract from peoples hard work, they shame people for the things they enjoy. And let's be clear, this isn't about “bad reviews” this is about people who seek out to scare, hurt, and ruin author's based on a personal bias, a rumor they've heard, a misunderstanding, or simply no good reason at all. People who spread hateful speech, threaten bodily harm, threaten sexual attacks, and lash out at not only the author, but their family, their kids, and their fans... Bottom line, it's wrong.

In the effort of being professional we all know the drill... Don't feed the trolls. Don't engage them. And by all means, don't call them out because that is what they feed on. So most people quietly suffer in silence as strangers hide behind the guise of internet anonymity and spew their hate... I can guarantee you if those people had to put their real name, a picture of themselves, and a public listing where they could be reached, they would never, and I do mean NEVER, post the shit they post. That right there tells you how cowardly they are.

But the question is, how do you, or I, or we deal with this. Don't engage seems to be the choice most people go with, others go to launching a campaign against the haters, while others sadly feel like they have no choice but quit. And no, this isn't a rant about some authors giving up. Others might post that, but not me.

The choice to stop writing and not release their work because of haters is a personal choice and only that author can choose that. Whatever he/she is going through it is his/her choice on how to handle it and in this one case they did choose to not release her book and that is okay. That said, it is human nature to want to lash out and defend ourselves, but at the same time most of us know that ranting on social media makes us look defensive and petty. It's a fine line to walk in defending ourselves when people attack our character and our creativity.

Part Two: Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

In the case of this weeks brouhaha, a troll, "reviewer" or whatever you want to call this person, rated a book low and then had some snide comments about the author and then took to jumping on another reviewers post to make some more snide comments. We all know the type, they are doing it to get attention… Unfortunately the author responded and that lit the flames. He lashed out, the author lashed out, others came to his defense, her fans came to her defense and LINES WERE CROSSED. Everyone was spouting TOS for Goodreads to "prove" that they were right while others were wrong and it was grossly out of hand.

The only thing I can say is this: Authors, please don't respond to negative remarks. Don't have your best friend, your husband, your neighbor, or your fans respond to negative comments because it makes you and your brand look bad.

That being said, this situation has quickly snowballed out of control. Authors are jumping ship, lashing out at any low reviewer. Anyone who isn't giving them 5 Stars and a glowing review runs the risk of being labeled a troll, hater, being from a fake account.

So let's clear up a few things:

What is the definition of a Troll?

In Internet slang is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a forum, chat room, or blog), either accidentally or with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[1]

What is the definition of a Hater?

A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.  Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn't really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch. [2]

Where in lies the difference if there is any? Does it really matter, both are there solely for bring another person down. Ruining their day. Pissing in their Wheaties. And neither is acceptable behavior.

Regardless of who is being what the cold hard facts are this, as Alex just pointed out, this is the nature of the beast. Review sites are like this. People troll them looking to say hateful things. We all know this and not every low review is a fake review, sometimes a person just doesn't like a book. It is helpful when a low star review is accompanied by a written review to help the author know what the reviewer liked and didn't like, but we all know that 9 times out of 10 you aren't going to be given any feedback.

But the worst part of all of this is that both side started threatening violence, making violent suggestion and in a community where we have so little support from the mainstream world we should not be tearing ourselves into different factions. Seriously people, have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Everyone knows the old saying: If you don't have something nice to say then, take to social media, gather your pitchforks and call for the head of someone you deem less than you, which will in turn cause them to build a Frankenstein's monster out of the heads, arms, and legs, of their fandom to unleash a fury of hellfire and brimstone on the authors behalf… *head desk* Oh wait, that isn't the old saying, the old saying is this: If you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all. Which doesn't mean don't leave a bad review if you feel a book calls for it, but there is no reason to shame a person, imply that they are stupid and there is never any reason to threaten physical violence or harm to one another no matter which side of the fence you sit on!

So where does this leave everyone? Some will delete their Goodreads accounts, some will take to Facebook, Twitter, etc.. and some will find a good friend to vent to in private. Others will quit writing all together. It is a personal choice on how you chose to handle it or if you choose to handle it at all. My stance, for myself is the same as it has always been in my previous posts about remaining professional and branding. I will quietly find my way to Alex's inbox and vent in private.

Authors, don't feed the trolls… And don't let your fan base or friends feed them either.

And in conclusion here are some wise words on the nature of Haters, thanks T.O.M. and Toonami:

"Well, I guess it is time to hate on… Haters

We’ve all got one.

It’s the person who says “That sucks.” No matter what you’re doing.

Now this isn’t the same as criticism. Criticism serves a healthy function.

Sometime it can even help you get better. That’s because it comes from a good place.

Hating, however, is when someone just wants to cut you down.

They wanna watch you fall. Toonami’s had a lot of criticism and a lot of haters in our time.

We welcome the criticism, because this is a work in progress.  And we wanna hear what you guys have to think because we love you.

But when it comes to haters, ol TOM learned his lesson a while ago. You can’t let them get to you. So keep your head up, keep doing what works for you.  And don’t be afraid to listen to your critics, but always, always ignore the haters. We all deserve better."

So there ya go: Don't be afraid to listen to your critics, but always, always ignore the haters. We all deserve better.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Troll

[2] http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hater

Dealing with the negative while remaining professional

Not only is my SPE post two days late, it is also coming to you from my iPad since we are in the middle of a thunder and lightening storm. Some days it's harder than others to get things to work out the way you want them, but what makes a crap day even worse is the realization that not everyone is going to be happy for your successes in life.

What is even harder than dealing with haters is having to stay professional at all times. Many times I've wanted to let loose with a Facebook rant about this, that or the other thing, but I for the most part hold my tongue and especially on my "Author Page", I do not rant or bitch about things big or small. I censor myself on my author page to keep the drama at bay. I want to look professional, I want my author page to look professional. There are many times I say "I want to post this" but then I think about how it will look and it gets deleted and a lot of the time +Alexandra Webb also reminds me to vent to her instead of in public. It's hard when we want to defend ourselves, but it's worth not looking like a fool who just wants drama. This harkens back to my post about branding, I am my brand. So yes, my personal Facebook page might contain a rant about my husband, or posts about my crapass mailman, but you won't find me bashing reviewers or bitching about how I can tell by my sales who of my friends hasn't purchased my books (yes, that is a real rant I've seen on Facebook) on either my author page or my personal page, it's just not done. You keep it professional.

Some things do hurt too deep. Some people know exactly how to rip our hearts out and show them to us. What do you do when need to vent, need to scream and cry and be angry because someone close to you bashed your latest work? Or when a reviewer gives you a 1 star drive by review with no comments? Or when someone calls your work unoriginal? You find a friend you can vent to and you vent in private, not in public. You pick yourself up, rub some dirt on it, and move the fuck on. O.o oh yes, I'm pulling out the curse words now.

Did you hear how self-published authors are lazy hacks? Have you heard that they shouldn't even be in the publishing business if they can't get a contract? How about the fact that its not fair that others paid their dues slinging words for a newspaper or working as an editor for 40 years before they started writing? Or what about the fact that self-publishing is cop-out? Self-published authors don't care about putting out quality work? Etc, etc... The list of bullshit comments that can get you down goes on and on. Haters, man. They are everywhere.

1) vent, rant and rage. In private, that is what email, inboxes, Skype, text messages, and voxer is for.

2) Pick yourself up

3) Rub some dirt on it

4) CARRY ON

Lather, rinse and repeat as needed. 

Look, the honest truth is this: like i said earlier, not everyone is going to be happy for your successes. Whether it's a friend who doesn't support you, an entire family that doesn't understand you, or an entire community that is against how you choose to do things. Everyone is going to have an opinion and not all of them will be good. It hurts when we aren't supported, it hurts when we feel alone. We are creatures who need support and praise. It makes us feel good, reminds us to keep going. Everyone loves a compliment.

In this digital world of anonymity it's easy for others to hide behind a computer scene and hurt you but this is your dream, they can't take it from you unless you let them. You just have to focus, lean on the friends who support you and distance yourself from those who bring you down. Reach out to others. Ask for help, sing the praises of fellow authors, make new friends, work to be the good in this industry because honestly there is way too much elitist bullshit around here and things need to change. Just because something was done a certain way for "x" amount of years doesn't mean that change is bad, change is very, very good. It keeps things from growing stagnant. It's refreshing.

So be professional, be kind, be supportive... But remember that being those things doesn't  mean you have to put up with people or groups or family who put you down or don't support you. They can only affect you if you let them, and yes, it's hard to not let it get you down. That is what wine, chocolate, a nice warm bath, and good books are for; to lift your spirits when the douchebags get you down. Then after a nice glass of wine, or some silky smooth chocolate, or a nice long soak in the tub, or after a couple of chapters of a good book you can get back to your goal. Writing. Because in the end for writers, artists, and creators,  the only thing that fill us up, makes us feel whole (besides our loved ones) is working on our craft, honing our skills, and sharing our work with whomever wishes to see it.

The Writing World

Too many irons in the fire is a phrase that I'm hearing more and more often by my surrounding authors and aspiring authors. One of the blogs I write for was put on hiatus because everyone ended up being too busy to keep up with regular posts. I'm a person who likes to be busy, so when something new and exciting was dropped on my plate, I thought, no problem! Tonight will be my fourth night in a row staying up until midnight to meet minimum expectations for my projects under Alexandra and my projects under my actual name. As I sip my coffee, I can't help but think, 'this is the life of an author.'

Mia has a project that has a deadline of September 13th. That's not a deadline she set, but I can't tell you what the project is. The advantage of self published projects is that you set your own deadlines. You can keep your readers waiting, which I don't recommend, or you can pick a release date, when you're comfortable, to get everyone excited about it. There are authors I know who have been promising a release (without a specific date) for a few months. You can check on their Facebook page, and two months ago they give the same excuses and explanation this month. If you go down this path you have to claim your title. You are an author now. There is stress. There is times you don't want to work, when you need to.

Stress is a killer, but you must find away to work with it instead of against it. If you need to step back, take a nap, take a bath, take a walk, but then get back to work. Don't forget that writing is only part of the job. As my other-self, I have events coming up that I have to prepare for. A book signing at a local store and a convention. Despite the fact that I'm going to be exhausted, I have to be able to participate in the book signing, talk to the people there and appear professional. (They better have coffee!) The convention is a four day commitment that I know I won't get much work done while I'm there, so I have to prepare for it. That means planning deadlines and goals around that. More stress since my newest deadline is November 13th, that means during NaNoWriMo (which is a whole other beast) and a few weeks after the convention. I have to time things just right. Stress, but excitement all the same.

I sit back and look at my WIP list and sigh, I'm scared some of it's not going to get done. I'm scared some of it is going to bomb, and I'm scared I might burn myself out. I have three projects under Alexandra right now, not including the upcoming NaNo: In Black and White Edits, a post apocalyptic story, and Redemption, which I can give more details on later. I won't even get into the WIPs as the other me. I'm not complaining. I asked for this life. I have worked for this dream to become a reality. I'll take everything as it comes. What is important is that you don't let the stress and the fear control you. You are bigger than it, you can over come it. Remember that you have great support and people who are taking this journey with you. You'll find them in some of the most unsuspected places. Chin up and dream big.