Professionals Show Up

As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm cuddling my 3 year old, watching Cinderella, and wishing that I had something stronger than ibuprofen for pain. So why am I writing this right now? Why don't I post late this week? Or don't post at all? Because here's the deal, I consider this blog as part of my brand, part of something that makes me a professional. If I push it off, something else might be seen as more important. I missed my nap time window because well, someone wouldn't nap, so I was barely able to squeeze in 500 words. That's 500 words that I didn't have yesterday, so I'm calling it a win.

That all being said, I'm not here to make excuses, I'm not here to tell you a good try is what counts. Okay, that second one is kind of true. I just finished a book called "Manage Your Day to Day", as I'm sure you can tell it's all about time management, but the advice comes from some pretty big name people. That being said the one line that stuck with me was "Professionals Show Up". I have a lot of complaints about people who don't stick to what they say, wait until the last moment, or hand me a bunch of excuses. This isn't to say that I'm not understanding, I try to be. Things happen, deaths in the family, personal emergencies...things out of people's control.

As an indie author or a trade author, you have to look as writing as your job, part time or full. You show up, you get stuff done, some days are better than others. Despite the pain, I would have shown up to work if I worked a traditional job. My book is not going to write itself and Exclusively Yours certainly isn't going to edit itself. I have deadlines to meet, people to communicate with, and readers who are expecting books.

Your marketing, writing, editing and everything else isn't going to get done unless you show up everyday to make it so. (of course unless you hirer people for particular tasks). Block of part of your day, if you can make it the same time everyday. (I use nap time and coffee time, nap time my daughter is sleeping, most days. And coffee time is her tv time.) Somedays it gets screwed up, but you still get in that time. Why?

Because you a professional and professionals show up. I set a goal for my time: 1k words on one project 1k on another, if I still have time, I move to what's next in my editing cue. Some days I make it to editing and other days I don't. I have a particular time at night dedicated to just editing.

Just 2k total a day? Yes. I know authors who can write 5-10k a day. Most of them are twice my age and have no children at home. When my daughter is old enough for school those numbers will change, but I know that is the min that I can make in a day. As I can delegate other tasks out, like social media, I'll have more time to dedicate to writing. Right now, I wear all the hates in my business. For that is what this is, a business. This is what I want to do for a living. So set times everyday (or 5 days a week, or what schedule you want that will work) and show up. Make it happen.

Presenting Yourself as a professional: Guest Post Annie Slasher

Annie Slasher of Booked and Loaded was kind enough to write this guest post for us. This is geared towards bloggers, but authors pay attention, because you could learn something too. Like how to treat your bloggers.

Book Blogger Professionalism 

Let’s face it.  In our current world anyone, any place, anywhere can say whatever the hell they want and hide behind the safety of their computer screen.  So where do we, as book bloggers, draw the line in the sand of professionalism? 

Every blogger on the net has individual views, likes, and dislikes.  So when does putting your opinion out there for anyone wondering around the stringy webs of the internet cross a line of professionalism? 

In my personal bubble it is clear - Personal insults, plagiarism, piracy and crazy making of any kind.  

I am going to give it to you straight.  I am not the nicest person in the world and my filter probably resembles a sieve more than an actual healthy filter (I always think of cheese cloth), but I DO have a healthy respect for my fellow humans.  I know that somewhere behind each author pen name, blogger alias, and Facebook profile is a real human being.  This human being has feelings and their own personal views with their own shit going on that you know nothing about.  Not every individual puts their personal troubles on display for everyone to see, so do not pretend to know what that person is going through on any given day. 

Personal insults are not productive and no one benefits from them.  How do you think your readers benefit from calling an author or other blogger that you do not like insulting names?  I cannot find one good think that would come from this.  If you want to call someone out that is your choice, but there is a difference between insults and facts.  If you can prove you have been wronged by someone and you feel it is in your readers best interest have access to this knowledge, go for it!  You can still do so in a professional manner.  List facts and discuss why you got offended or were wronged.  This can all be done without childish name calling. 

Plagiarism is just not only unprofessional it is also illegal.  I am amazed at the stories I have heard and things I have personally experienced regarding reviews being plagiarized.  If you are not sure what plagiarism is:

According to the merriam-webster online dictionary, it means:

         * to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one’s own: use (another’s production) without crediting the source.

Using pieces, phrases, or all of another review is stealing and not professional.  So do not do it!  If you think it is professional to not read a book and just read reviews off of Goodreads and recap them, maybe you should rethink your passion of book reviews.  You are truly not doing yourself or any other bloggers a favor.  Readers should be able to put their trust in Book Bloggers to give their own honest opinions. 

There is a lot of buzz lately about piracy.  Ebooks are hard thing to stop from being pirated.  In my opinion book bloggers have a professional obligation to have a very high standard of what constitutes piracy.  Sharing via email or any other electric form without the author’s written permission with anyone is stealing and constitutes piracy.  Uploading or sharing electronic ARCs or copies with a site that provides free aka pirated books is not only unprofessional it is illegal.  Bloggers should be able to be trusted, and right now I think any author would be wise not to 100% trust anyone with electronic copies of their work.  I have theories about why this is so rampant, but that is not what this article is about! 

And we are onto the big one - crazy making! This should apply to all aspects in your life.  Not just blogging.  If you are stirring shit up between authors and readers, bloggers and authors, or any other combination of readers, bloggers, and authors you are crazy making.  It is the epitome of unprofessionalism.  All of us view our book blogging hobby differently.  Some more business oriented and some just enjoy spreading the word of authors, but ultimately you are responsible for your own professionalism.  It is up to you to set your own lines and not to cross them.  If you are spending your time hand picking authors to support and you think that means bashing others, you are not only unprofessional you are irrational.  I find these types of acts the most offensive.  You are truly not supporting authors if you think bashing one IS supporting another.  Readers read….they are not only going to read ONE author.  Support the ones you love by reading, reviewing, and repeat!

I think Facebook becomes the hardest thing to manage.  I am pretty open on my blogger Facebook account, but do apply the above rules to my Facebook Page.  I view my page the same as my blog.  I try to keep it as professional and unbiased as I can.  Warning, if you are friends with me on Facebook I roll out the honesty and leave the professionalism for my blog and Facebook page.  =)

Professionalism should be something all Book Bloggers care about.  It helps build a foundation of trust and respect for not only authors, but readers as well.  With so many Book Blogs closing their doors and others starting their new journey, we should be setting a high standard for professionalism in this industry.  We should be a group that authors and readers can trust and confide in and this can only come from a standard of professionalism. 

Follow Annie

Web / Twitter / FacebookPage / Facebook / Goodreads / Amazon / Google+ /  Pinterest

Presenting yourself as a Professional Part 2

Ahhh the joys of social media, you can vent, you can keep in contact, you can advertise, and you can well...destroy your career. Don't want that now do you? I'll be honest with you. I hate social media, it sucks my time away, but it is honestly the only thing that has worked for me as far as building my platform and my marketing. Now you're wondering where this comes into play when it becomes to being professional. Imagine you're a reader and you're talking to an author, just in passing, an elevator or something and the first thing he/she says to you is. "Oh my fucking god, someone gave me a one star review! How dare they not appreciate my genius!"

Now I hope realize that it's rude and probably should have been kept in the authors mind. I get being frustrated, especially with drive by ratings, and reviews that just make no sense to you. I get it, I do, but here's the deal. They are going to happen. Every author gets bad reviews. Don't believe me? Go look up your favorite authors. Honestly, as a reader, I don't trust a book that doesn't have at least one low rating. Why? Because I feel like one book cannot be everyone's cup of tea. As an author you need to realize that. My point? You wouldn't do this in person, don't do it on your Facebook, tumbler, blog, twitter, whatever you use.

Best policy? Don't respond to the review or rating. Do not let your street team respond, and for the love of the writing gods do not stalk the reviewer! I can hear you now: But it's my personal page! I want to be real with my readers!

My answer to the first one: Yep, but this is the age of the internet, nothing is truly private. That's what's scary about it. Personal or not, you need to control your emotions and feelings. You are a business now, the way you act reflects on your product.

Second one: Be real with your readers, yes, let your readers know you're human to, but do that by interacting with them. Not ranting about them. I'm going to touch on that in just a minute.

Okay, so no responding to reviews. Next thing....do not go on some crazy rant about haters that you have. Seriously. We all have them, we all have people who say things mean about us or our work. Move along, for many of the same reasons above. You are going to hurt your brand if you react badly. This goes back to not ranting about your readers.

Interact with your readers, invite them to answer questions on your pages, they don't have to be related to writing or your books, they can be, but don't have to be. If they ask you a question, answer them honestly. (within reason of course) Even if the question is "What is the order of your series." You need to appreciate your readers, because without them you would be nothing.

Basically don't do anything online that you wouldn't do in person.

Presenting yourself as a professional Part 1

Little fish, big fish....which do you feel like when you're acting as an author. Strange question I know. When I first started attending conventions I felt like a little fish... a tiny tiny tiny fish. Why? Was it because I only had two books and a short story under my name? Possibly. Was it because I really had no idea what I was doing? Mmm most likely.  I touched on this a while back, but it's been about a year and a half since, so it's time we touch on it again, but in a little more depth this time. That is why I'm breaking it into parts.

Today we're going to cover physical appearances. What I look like on a normal day, where I'm

chasing around children, cleaning house, and just writing is completely different than when I'm face to face. Example? Well let's take a look: My hair is pulled up (and most likely not very well), I'm wearing a Pink Floyd shirt (not very flattering) and if you look closely I'm wearing loose black pants. Now, I'll be honest, I am likely to go grocery shopping in that outfit, but I'm not likely to go to any writer's event in it.  (please excuse the  legos. I was playing with my daughter)

But it shows my personality. I don't care. If you're going to a convention, a conference, or an event, dress appropriately, dress to your brand. I'll admit, I struggled with this. Should I go around wearing corsets and BDSM gear? I could, except for I write multiple genres. I know an author who has totally made corsets and masks her thing, it works for her brand and that's how she dresses at every event. No one ever sees her face. Again that works for her, but since I write multiple genres, I dress according to the convention and which reader group I'm more likely to face. Some examples? Most conventions will find me in a black dress, leggings or tights, and boots. My hair is always down and fixed (this helps me look older, trust me, it's needed.) I always wear heels, because well I'm 5'2" I'm short. For a more casual event I wear something nice, maybe nice jeans with a tailored polo or a nice shirt, maybe a sweeter dress. Something decent. If there's a chance I'm going to introduce myself as an author, I'm dressed and ready to present myself.

Moving on to the other part of physically presenting yourself as professional...engaging with readers and other authors. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, just go up and say "Hi, I'm an author read my book." No. Now if you're at an event where you have to introduce yourself, say a fact about yourself, or some other ice breaker situation, then yes, you can say that you're an author. Just don't do it randomly or forcefully.

I just got back from an event where I had a wonderful time sitting down and chatting with readers and authors alike. Not once, unless asked, did I mention I was an attending author. Why? Readers are smarter than most people give them credit for, they can recognize a name. My name is in the program and on my name badge. Also, I was on panels, that's kind of a dead give away, they make you introduce yourself on panels, that's when I get to tell people I'm an author and what I write. Also, they'd see me at the book signing, that's also a pretty dead give away. Readers like it when you can connect on the same level as them.

Okay? But what do we talk about? Well, anything really, I had an hour conversation about cats. I also had a breakfast conversation about BDSM struck up by my collar and woman brave enough to ask me. You are a normal person, let your readers know that. Also...unless it's super important, do not text, read emails or check facebook while talking to people. Hello rude! Why should they care who you are or what you're talking about if you're more interested in your phone. Eye contact, an interested tone, ask question, converse people! It's not that hard, and it's professional. No, you will not like everyone you meet, but you at least need to be polite.

Have a table at the event? With the exception of IRC, where the tables were short and the moving space limited, I stand up every time someone approaches the table. Why? So I can have better eye contact. If they pick up a book, or are looking at them, I'll give a little piece about them, to give them enough info. If they just come up to the table, I do the simplest thing ever...I say "Hi, how's it going?" I had someone come back and buy my whole series because of that. We talked for a bit, they walked off and then came back.

Professionalism isn't just about how you look, but how you act. This is a job, a career, and you should treat it as such.

So while you wait for my next part in all this some questions for you to think on.
What's your brand and how can you dress?
What is appropriate for the events?
How do you act around readers and customers?
How can you improve any of this?

Networking

I'm here for the day because Mia is down with a migraine that's refusing to leave. So...let's talk networking, shall we? Yep, I just heard a collective groan across the internet of authors. My hubby and I call networking 'playing nicey nice' because occasionally I run across people that I don't like, they rub the wrong way, but networking is important in this business. Now do not be mistaken, networking is not kissing ass of people who are higher on the author food chain than you and it's not riding on coat tails. As an author you have to network with a lot of different people and you help each other out. Examples?

Editors: I meet editors at convention, always take cards, always talk about their process. Why? Ms. J takes such wonderful care of me, but I also know (from conversation) that she can get pretty busy with school and family. Something might happen and I don't want to be out an editor. As an Indie author you don't want to be caught without an editor during crunch time.

I keep a file on different cover artists, why do such when I have one that I'm so happy with and has amazing prices? Because it might not always be that way. She might get way too busy to do my cover, something personal might happen where she has to close her business for a bit, or heaven forbid we have a falling out—cause trust me, that happens a lot in the indie world. I don't want to be stranded. I meet cover artists at conventions, pick up their cards, talk prices and in general just talk. I get to know them, they get to know me. Just recently I'm in a huge author event that has a graphic artist doing banners, they gave us a list of prices for her for future use. I messaged her and talked to her a bit. I do research on this. I will not be high and dry if something happens to my cover artist.

Okay so what about the people who don't offer a service? Other authors? Bloggers (though they do offer us a service)? Podcasters? People, this is where connections and cross promotions come into play. I did a podcast interview with someone I met from AnomalyCon, I was asked back to do a Co-host for two other shows for them. I really enjoyed the first interview and my first experience on a podcast. They get 100 listens per a cast...that's 100  more people who get to now my name. Exposure. Other authors? Some times they have advice for you, they know other events, and sometimes they are nice enough to tell you about the mistakes they made, so you won't make them. It's all about connections. Bloggers are the say, if a blogger likes your book, they spread the word, especially if you are not a stuck up egotistical sack of author (and yes, they spread that around too)

What I'm not saying: You don't have to kiss ass (yes, this needs to be said again), you don't have to be everyone's best friend, but you will make friends in the process. (I certainly have). Do not pester your contacts, always be grateful. If you are someone's networking contact, be nice, be professional, and be willing to help. Indie is a miss leading name...we don't do it alone, we do it together with support.

A note on review bloggers

So being a review blogger and an author gives me a chance to see things from both sides of the equations. We’ve all seen it, authors moaning and groaning about bad reviews from bloggers or readers. We all know my stance on that. (If not it boils down to this: put your big person panties on and get over it. You’re a professional) I may be beating a dead horse here, but I keep in contact with other review bloggers and I’ve seen and heard some interesting stories about authors. Okay, so authors here’s the deal…Review bloggers are not your friends. Got it? You can’t hand them a book an expect them to lie to you, even if you’ve built a good relationship with them.

I just heard you gasp. If they aren’t our friends, what are they? Think of them almost as a boss. No they don’t get to tell you what to do, but let’s face it, they get to judge the work you do. You go and you write a nice letter asking them to read this book, you make it appeal to them, you want them to review it. Some blogs have a policy that if they rate it under a particular amount of stars, they will let you know first and you can say if they can post it or not. (You will find no such policy here at SPE) As an author I think that defeats the purpose of sending it to a review blog.

I am sending my book to a stranger (if it’s the first time that blog has read one of my books) I may be sending it to someone I consider a friend. But they are a review blog first, I expect that they tell me the truth about the book. If I want an ego stroke, I’d got to someone who feels obligated to lie to me. (We all have those friends.) Giving me a chance to say no or yes to posting a review tricks the readers into thinking that all blogs will only give me a certain rating or higher. As a reader, that pisses me off. I’m the person who reads the bad reviews to see what I’m getting into.

As a blogger I don’t think it’s a good policy, which is why you won’t find it here at SPE. Authors say they want honest reviews, that is what they are going to get. Readers deserve to see those 1 or 2 star ratings. The problem is that there are mobs out there so quick and ready to label reviewers as bullies because of low ratings. That is not right and is a whole other blog on it’s own. That being said, author’s if bloggers give you a choice and a low ratings, suck it up. Do not be rude back to them. They have spent their time reading your book. Just because they didn’t like that one doesn’t meant they won’t like the next. Being a pompous twat isn’t going to help your relationship with them. And by the way, just like authors talk so do bloggers.

My point is. You are an author, learn to take feed back and deal with it. You don’t get to screen your readers’ reviews, why should you get to screen your review blog reviews? Honest feed back, it’s what we need. Remember, especially as an indie author, you’d be no where without your readers. Your readers turn to those bloggers, if they shut down because of rude authors, you’re only hurting yourself.

Giving Credit

This isn't going to be a post on plagiarizing because that is a can of worms I do not want to open. It's also something that all authors should know about and if you don't, go do your research. No, this is a post about giving credit where it is owed. As a indie author, a small press author, or a big press author, you need to make sure you are giving proper credit and thanks.

This comes into play a couple places. I have seen many authors out there who take witty lines from the internet, either jokes, lines from memes, or lines of wisdom and will throw it up on social media and put their characters name at the end of it. Hm. No, if it reminds you of your character, say such and give credit to your source. You will lose a lot of respect if people think that you're witty and creative just to find out that you got your best lines from a comedian, joke website or meme. What I'm saying is avoid saying things like "Yeah, I know I'm good." And admitting to where you got the quote, joke, whatever it is that you put up there. If it's a quote, but who said it! Use your head in this guys, the last thing you want is people saying "this author steals jokes/quotes/lines and claims them as their own."If I can put it in google and it pops up with the first result do not claim ownership on it.

On to other places that credit should be given. Covers. What I'm saying is when someone compliments your cover, you tell them thanks so and so (company, person, so on) did a great job! Not just thanks. You could even do "Thanks, I'll let my cover artist know you like it!" I've recently started putting a simple Cover: Something Wicked. Covers By Jamie or Cover: Jamie Wilson in my books on the copyright page. They deserve some credit for the beautiful cover. The same goes if you created it yourself, if you've created a great cover be proud of it!

The thing is, it's called indie publishing, but very few authors do it on their own. There are teams, you need to make sure you give them credit, you need to make sure you are professional and give proper credit for quotes, jokes, anything that you use that is not yours. Acting in any other manor is what gives indie authors, or any authors, a bad rep. I could got on for pages about how to appear professional, but this is not the right time. Hell I could write a book on it. ;)

Thoughts? Comments? Let us know below!

The Perceived Image of an Indie Author

Ah, the wonderful world of the internet. It's great for networking, wonderful to keep in touch with families, and it breeds drama, but it can also be a great place for open discussion. I tend to lean more towards conversations with indie authors, but occasionally I cross over and talk to traditionally published ones too when it comes to talking shop. My favorite is to talk to other hybrid authors, which Mia are now considered hybrid authors. That's important, because I'm getting ready to break down somethings that I found and or experiences on the internet this last week. I often like to pretend that there is no more perceived image of an indie author, that we can walk amongst traditionally authors with our heads held high, and no one will pick on us. Yeah, right. (Though to be fair, we pick on traditionally published authors.)

So let's quickly define indie authors, traditionally published, and hybrids.

Indie authors: Normally this refers to authors who have no affiliation with a true publisher. There are authors who are considered indie who have combined to make their own press, or even just one author who made their own press so there was a publisher name, but it's not a publisher that caters to other authors.

Traditionally published authors: Authors who has a publisher, regardless of it's a big five publisher or not.

Hybrid authors: Authors who are published both ways.

So now to the fun stuff, now that we're all caught up. On a Facebook post a traditionally published author poised a question in regards to the possibility to produce a large amount of writing as an indie author and it being quality writing.

When I was an aspiring author, I was completely against self-publishing, and this was one of the reasons why. I saw a particular author releasing something almost every month and I thought, there is just no way that it's polished enough. My Hubby tried to play devil's advocate and questioned me as to why it wasn't possible. In the end I shrugged my shoulders and thought, 'we'll see.' Now that I'm an author, under two different names, one which is indie and one which is hybrid, I know it is possible. Everything I'm writing, with the exception of A Demon's Heart, are things that will be published next year. Everything I'm planning on releasing this year is written and either just waiting on covers or is currently being edited. Under one name, I'll be releasing six titles, three that are novels, and three that are short stories. Under Alexandra, I'll (hopefully) be seeing the release of two books with Ellora's cave and two indie releases. At a convention, I met several authors that work this way and now that I know how it works, I know it's possible.

So naturally...I jumped in wanting offer the perspective of a indie author. I wrote a well though out response that invited conversation, did not bash traditionally published, and was hoping for a well thought out response. What I got instead was a simple thanks for responding. Hm. So I continued to follow the conversation, one person pointed out that I had valid points, and we continued to discuss, but the conversation ended basically with this: Traditional is better because edits take time and the publisher is the best at that.

That is an age old argument. Indie books are not edited. That is not true. Granted, there is stuff out there that is not edited, but that is not the whole lot. Just like people tend to think: Traditionally published have better story lines and knows what sells. No. I've read some awful Traditionally published books and though they follow trends, they can't switch as easily. (I'm not saying write towards the trends people, just pointing things out.)

Now as for the editing. Worried about downloading an indie book and having it been unedited? Check out the sample first, that's a glorious feature right there. It saved me $10 on an indie e-book the other week. On a book that helps give indie authors a bad name. But back to the point, traditional authors still hold that idea that they are better because they are with a publisher, that their editors know more than editors we can hire or our betas, who are normally made up of our target audience. Am I saying that indie authors are better? No, what I'm saying is that we are all authors, and yes there is good and bad writing out there and good and bad stories out there, but they aren't exclusively indie. There are those indie authors who think that they are better, though and that is the wrong attitude to have. We can all learn from each other here people, so knock it off!

That brings me to my next point. There was an article going around social media that had mentioned how different hybrid authors are. It talked about how we aren't indies, which is partially true, and we aren't really traditional, which well, is kind of true as well. We have a foot in each world, but here's the thing. We are still indie, we still know and do all the work for some of our projects. In the article it talked about how the only way a hybrid author could survive in this world is if they were a New York best seller before they 'turned indie' like we're vampires or something. Turned. According to the author of the article, if the author was not a NY best seller, than they were no better than the indie authors.

Hold up. That gives hybrids  a negative image too. Again, can't we all be just authors? Can't we all get along? Probably not, because this is how life goes, it's a uphill battle for us all, yes even traditionally published authors. The perceived image of an indie author is still a negative one in some people's eyes. What we need to do is find a way to change this, regardless of the category that we fall in.

Mia's Year In Review

2013… Oh how you fickle and frustrating you've been. Now that we are facing 2014 I thought I'd do some reflections, because as stressful at 2013 was it was also equally exciting. So let's get down to the milestones of this past year for me:

-          The SPE blog has been a success as an outlet for me on my self-publishing journey.

-          The Twisted Tales blog turned out better than I had imagined.

-          I signed a publishing contract with Ellora's Cave (which was completely unexpected)

-          I self-published my first book: Waking Up In Bedlam

-          I have managed to keep my author page free of any drama, which keeps my brand professional.

-          NaNo wasn't a complete loss. It helped me get a good start on Waking Up In Chains.

-          I submitted a short story for an Anthology. The deadline was Dec. 31^st, I got it in Dec. 26^th. I feel very accomplished to have hit that before the deadline, not much before it, but still… It's progress.

-          I have my schedule laid out for the next six months with new releases coming near summer.

What have I learned:

-          I have learned that marketing is definitely my weak spot. Which is good to know, it will be an area I really work hard on in this next year.

-          Word of mouth can only get you so far, the rest is up to you.

-          Haters gonna hate, that doesn't mean you have to let them drag you down to their level.

-          Nothing beats the support of friends, family and fans.

-          Love what you do and do what you love.

So that is my year in a nut shell. Next year will be happy, exciting, and prosperous. <3

Ego

e·go

  [ee-goh, eg-oh] 

noun, plural e·gos.

1.

the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, andwilling, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others andfrom objects of its thought.

2.

Psychoanalysis . the part of the psychic apparatus thatexperiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediatesbetween the primitive drives of the id and the demands of thesocial and physical environment.

3.

egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes moreunbearable each day.

4.

self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded hisego.

5.

( often initial capital letter ) Philosophy .

a.

the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.

b.

Scholasticism. the complete person comprising both body andsoul.

Today we are going to cover egos. Now as we see Dictionary.com defines ego in several different ways. I'm going to focus on the third definition. Now, as indie authors, we have to have some what of an ego in order to talk about our books, suggest them to people, do interviews, and essentially brag about ourselves for a little bit. But that only takes a bit of egotism and some confidence, hell, I know authors who fake it most of the time and it works.

But there are authors out there who have too much ego. Why does it matter, you ask? I don't know about you, but when I was an aspiring author, hell as a published author, I look up to those authors who are down to earth. Someone you can talk to as a person and someone you can relate to. I think this is important as an author, if you have too big of an ego and come off that way, eventually it'll hurt your sales, your reputation, and as an indie author you can't afford that.

Let me give you an example. Back in 2006, a friend flew me out for a book signing for a particular author. It was a pretty exclusive book signing since it was an end of a tour party. I was so excited, because it was an author that I admired, adored, and looked up to. So I get out there, and I'm nervous as hell because this is my first time meeting a big name author. But by the end of the night, there I stood at the table with her and decided, 'she's a normal person, I can talk to her as such.' I don't remember what I said, but she completely blew me off and wandered away. I was devastated. It wasn't like I expected her to remember my name, or my face, but a small conversation to take home with me. As I closely watched her, she didn't approach anyone and blew off everyone who tried to approach her. Now, we're talking about a book signing with maybe 50 people at it. She acted like she was better than everyone and above them all.

This stuck with me, and to this day, I have a hard time picking up her books to read them. I felt like persona she gave online, on social networking, on her website and interviews was not the cold shoulder person I had met. That didn't sit right with me. I haven't bought one of her books since.

So let me give you the flip side of this.

Two years ago another author that I adored came to a city near me. I was three months pregnant, and my poor husband feared for the interior of his car because I threatened to throw up every few miles. This was a huge signing so I didn't expect any personal time, I just wanted to see her and get a book signed. So my husband indulged me. We got up there and there was a massive group, as expected, I found someone I had communicated with online, and she gushed about how this author just adored her fans and were grateful for all of them. So the author did her speaking, and then came the book signing part. I got up there, and was nervous, but I didn't want to make the same 'mistake' that I had at the other book signing, so I mumbled, 'hi.'

The author caught me off guard. "Oh my gosh, I love your hair!" (it was tinted purple at the time) And despite the fact that there were at least 100 people behind me, she took a couple minutes to talk to me. She found out I was pregnant, wished me luck, and gave me a huge hug. I was in aw and on cloud nine for the rest of the night. I don't expect her to remember me next time, but I know that I will always continue to support her because I watch how she struck up a conversation with everyone. Better yet, I watched how at the end of the signing, she hung around to mingle with those who stayed after. Some of them she'd even known by name because they showed up to all her signings.

Ego. It can hurt you if you let it get out of control. Those are two memories I will always keep with me and two great examples. As an indie author, if we turn one person off by pretending or thinking we are better than everyone else, it really hurts us. Because that person will tell someone else. Now, I'm not saying don't advertise or don't talk about yourself ever, but remember you are nothing with out your readers. When you're writing your bio, or answering questions, be weary of things that make you sound egotistical things like, "a brand new look on this genre" "as demanded by thousands of fans" "Worlds best author." when writing bios, answering interview questions, unless you're quoting a source that can be found--that's a different story.

I recently attended a convention under my other name, and one of the best things about this convention was that readers, bloggers, and authors all had time to mingle. The person who ran the convention stressed that it was the best thing we could do as authors, sit down with readers, and don't automatically start talking up your books, hell don't even mention them. There were several people who bought books after just sitting down and having a normal conversation with the authors, and they had no clue that they were talking to authors.

So check your ego, get your head out of your ass, and be a normal person who just happens to write. Be down to earth, even as an author, big name, small name, new or seasoned, you are still human and not a god or goddess. Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear your thoughts below. Please feel free to comment.