Where You Write

Where you write can make all the difference. For me, it can make or break my concentration.

If I am sitting on the couch (as long as there isn’t something distracting on the TV) I can be productive. My kids playing video games, not a problem. But put on a TV show or movie, even one I’ve seen a dozen times, and I’m lost. But I love to sit on the couch because we have a big window that lets me look out into the world and I don’t feel so trapped.

If I am sitting at the dining room table I’m good to go as long as everyone is doing their own thing, because it drives me nuts if people are walking behind me and trying to look at my computer screen. So it’s not an ideal place seeing as how as soon as I whip out my laptop the whole house turns into Spy vs. Spy and tries to look over mom’s shoulder.

My next option is sitting at my sons school computer desk, that would be great, but it runs the same risks as the dining room table seeing as how it is in the same room.

Moving on… My last hiding place is my bedroom, where I actually have a desk, but do I get to sit at the desk? Nope, because my comfy office chair has been taken over by everyone else. It can either be found in front of my son’s computer or in the living room parked right in front of the TV/Xbox. And since I never use the desk it has become a holding station for all items in the house that have no home of their own.

That leave my bed. I actually do like working there but only for short periods of time. My legs get sore sitting cross-legged and eventually my firm mattress wreaks havoc on my lower back.

Can I get work done in these places? Yes, if I really stay focused. But will it be productive work? More likely than not, no unless the atmosphere is right and distraction free. Right now is a very productive, ideal writing time. As I write this I am on the couch, my son is at his computer so the TV is off, the house is quiet and this is actually the second blog post I’ve pounded out this hour. It’s quite productive out here. If I were in my room I would have maybe made it through half of the first one and then called it quits. At the dining room table wouldn’t have worked either because my son would be more tempted to say “Mom, I need your help.” Even though he really doesn’t.

So my spot, at least for now, is the couch. That is the spot that makes all the difference in my being productive. I can work, for the most part, uninterrupted and distraction free. Until 4:30 hits and everyone else gets home, flips on the TV and totally messes up my writing juju.

Do you have a place where you find you are more productive? Is there a spot you know once you sit down you won’t get anything done? Are you distracted by the TV? Music? Birds outside the window? Let us know in the comments.

Quitter or Failure?

When does a writer become classified as a failure? Who makes that decision? Is there a secret number that if you don’t hit it you are forever ranked as a failure?

There seems to be this idea from non-writers that if the author they know hasn’t hit the New York Times Best Seller List then they’ve failed. I don’t agree, but there comes a time when you probably need to reevaluate what you are doing if you aren’t hitting the goals you set for yourself. (As long as they are realistic goals)

A couple of things happened this past week that have caused me a bit of self-doubt and admittedly some tears and made me wonder when someone becomes known as a failure. Is it after they try to do everything that everyone says works and steering clear of the things that supposedly don't work? Or is it just as simple as, they are a failure when they think they are one?

1) I see authors behaving badly on social media. Responding to bad reviews, calling out their friends for not buying their books, bad mouthing other authors, and throwing themselves pity parties all because they’ve been doing this for so long and have nothing to show for it.

They do the one thing that every single Marketing book says not to do and yet they are top-selling in their genre. Although if you listen to them they are barely selling, but look at their numbers and they are tops in their genre.

This leads me to believe that maybe people really do inherently flock to drama. Maybe these authors aren’t so much “behaving badly” as they are marketing geniuses!

That’s crazy, you say? Really? On any given post on social media by an author bashing a bad review, talking about giving up because sales are low, or threatening to cull their friends lists to get rid of “haters” you will find – I shit you not- between 25-100+ comments on those threads. Either backing up the authors claims that the bad review is bullying, ego stroking them to tell them not to quit and recommending friends to buy the authors books, or begging to stay in that author’s “Inner Circle” because they are such loyal fans.

It’s a marketing win! Hello! These people are getting fresh exposure whenever they do these posts. It’s genius.

I still won’t go that route… But hey, they found something that works, and even better not a lot people do it (since we all read the books that say it’s a no-no). They reap the benefits. Good on them, but it still leaves me feeling blah about my own marketing. And so, I need to reevaluate my plan. Their plan won’t work for me but my current plan isn’t working so well either.

2) The other issue comes from family. Extended family, but family none the less. I could probably just leave it at that, since Family, even distant family, always knows how to hurt you most. They know the weak spots in our armor.

An extended family member asked me how my “little writing thing” was going. When I said, “It’s going.” They asked how many books I’ve sold… I hate that question. It seems so inappropriate. I would never ask someone how much money was in their bank account or how much cash they have in their wallet, but for some reason being invasive is okay when the person is merely writing “little stories”.

Anyways, I told them my numbers and they gave me one of these --> O.O <-- looks and said, “Wow… That’s it? I think it’s safe to say it’s time to throw in the towel and call it a good try.”

I didn’t feel up to arguing after that ego punch so I simply nodded and walked away. When I got home I let it eat at me. In truth it is still eating at me. I started looking at all the things I am doing wrong…

I’m spending too much time with my family. I could be writing more if we didn’t go do things or if I sent my kids to tutoring instead of helping them with homework. I spend too much time with my animals. I could probably learn something like formatting if I didn’t give them so much of my attention… But honestly these are things that I will not give up.

So I started looking at the other wrongs I’ve committed: I don’t have a dedicated editor. I rely on beta readers and numerous rounds of edits. Sure I’ve had people (several different people) edit my books, but I have no one who I have their full attention because the people I work with also write for themselves and have work of their own to do. So I started scanning the internet trying to find someone affordable… Still waiting on that.

I don’t know how to format. I have to rely on others and hope that I am not imposing on their time to get my stuff formatted.

I don’t know HTML… That could be useful too.

As my extended family member reminded me the other day: Successful authors pay for editing, formatting, and web-based stuff… Hell they have assistants, street teams, agents, etc… And I am here trying to do it by myself with the help of friends and trying to offset favors with trades and in the end feeling like I am spread too thing and failing.

I told my husband the other night “I’d rather quit than be a failure.” He said, “You’re only a failure if you quit.” (Which is what Alex said to me too.)

Would I really quit? No, not really. I just needed to say it out loud for a moment and embrace my own private pity party. I’ve been writing and telling stories long before anyone cared to read them. So no I am not quitting.

I don’t have huge sales, I’m not selling 50 books a month. I don’t have 100+ comments on my posts, but in the end what I do have is a handful of real friends who read what I write and tell me they love it. I have some solid reviews, even if they don’t number in the thousands. And lastly, I have my kids and ironically an estranged husband who are proud of me for doing what I am doing and for not giving up and who will always indulge me when I need to cry, or vent, or have myself a pity party.

That’s really all I need. I’m not here with delusions of making it big, hitting #1 spots on lists, or to have 5000 friends. I’m here for me, my stories, and for my friends and family who support me in this adventure.

Am I still feeling blah? Sure, but later today I’ll fire up Scrivener and write some more, because I can’t – not write – it’s in my blood and if I stopped I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

P.S. After writing this all up I received an email about my Ellora’s Cave book, I got my first blog review for Twisted Revenge and it was a 4.5 star review. That helped make this day less gloomy. So while that has nothing to do with the self-publishing aspect it serves as a reminder: There’s always a silver lining.

Oh The Places You'll Go....

When I graduated high school my grandmother followed tradition and gave me a copy of Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go." This book meant a lot to me because it showed that she believed in me and Dr. Seuss is one of my idols. What's the point of me telling you this? There's a few lines in there that really speak to me as an author:

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.” 

Let's break this down and why I bring up these particular lines for the day. "So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act." As authors, artists, and just people we often tend to post negative things, some times out of frustration and sometimes out of jealousy. Now, we all have our moments where frustration comes out, but the problem is when that frustration is aimed towards attacking people. Spit. Jealousy. Sour Grapes. Whatever you want to call it, you don't bash others in your fields (Or other fields) publicly. It's bad JuJu and my friends that is not the type of attention you want. You will lose a lot of respect that way, you will be blacklisted by readers, and honestly you're just inviting trouble to yourself. (Think of the trolls on Goodreads and other websites, do you really want to show yourself as an easy target for them?)

There is a fine balance that you have to find. Yes it's frustrating when someone seems to become a big name over night, but they too had their troubles when they started. Ask any author, they won't tell you it was easy to get where they are. I'm always telling Mia that we have to remember that and not get discouraged.

"And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains."

And most of us will get that success, but it'll be those of us who actually put the effort in. How does one move a mountain? A stone at a time. Small steps. You climb one the same way. There are steps to be taken and stumbling stones along the way.

Again, why am I bringing this up? Because I read an article the other day where an author stated that a big name author should stop writing (adult) fiction to allow room for new authors. (she made it clear that said author could continue to write for children or for his/her own pleasure, because she would NEVER deny that to someone...) So instead of going on a rant about it, I wanted to remind people that no matter how successful you are or are not everyone started at the bottom. There are no magic words, spells or tricks to 'hitting it big' you have to work for it. And if you're not willing to do that, then you will fail.

Now, get over your sour grapes, you have work to do.

Sex: Porn or Creative Expression?

Well this post was kind of a given, surprising that it took this long for it to be discussed. This blog isn't about sex, but seeing as how both +Alexandra Webb and I write Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance I figure it is worth discussing. There is many different "heat levels" and for everyone the definition of what is acceptable and what is considered depraved is different. Like most things in life, sex is subjective. No two people view it in exactly the same light. Some people view it as "porn in written form", but for others it is simply "creative expression". So let's roll up our sleeves and dive right into all the juicy details.

When reviewing books here at SPE we use our own heat rating system:

Mild- Sex is eluded to or given a very sweet touch with pretty words, nothing graphic

Medium- Getting a little heavier but still nothing that couldn't be shown in primetime TV

Hot- This is the kind of scenes that if it were on TV would have to be shown after 10pm

Spicy- Graphic with just a touch of restraint. It makes you blush and gets your heart racing

Scorching- Graphic and abundant. Words you wouldn't use in proper company are usually used regularly. Not only do you blush and a racing pulse, your body throbs, and you might need to take a break from reading and find some release. (yes, there are those types of books out there)

What do I feel most comfortable writing? Glad you asked. I enjoy writing Spicy. Although I am getting very fluent in Scorching. I do stumble on the use of some words and descriptions, but slowly I am getting over that bump in the road. Sweet sex scenes gives me hives, seriously. Not that I don't like reading them, but writing them gives me so much anxiety that I actually feel like I might pass out from the stress of it. Why? Because I am so used to writing graphic scenes (be it sex or violence) that writing something without such an intense level of description stresses me out. I worry, did I put too much touch, taste, and texture in that? What if it offends someone? But then again I am a worrier. And that is also why I don't tend to write the sweet-stuff.

But I know that not everyone is like me. For some people reading something with even a "hot" heat rating would be too much for them. And that is fine, as I am reminded time and time again: You can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like your book. Which is cool. That is okay with me. But for the people who like to have that blush to their cheeks when they read something I hope that I can deliver. Every once in awhile I'll get an email from someone that says "That chapter was hot." That gives me the best feeling in the world.

I've been seeing a surge of posts on the internet asking what the point of writing graphic sex scenes., accusing authors of only writing them to titillate the reader and themselves, fodder for the depraved, material to masturbate to, and comparing it to porn. I guess for me, my counter question would be: So what? If you don't like it, don't read it. Really. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but if you don't like something stay away from it. I don't like animal cruelty so I stay away from cock-fights. I've seen posts saying that having this kind of literature available is poison to readers. I'm allergic to coconut, to me it is poison, you know what I do? I don't eat it. If someone thinks that erotic romance is poison then they shouldn't be picking it up and reading it, just like I stay away from coconut. It's really as simple as that. Now when it comes to reading sex scenes I enjoy it in all forms, from sweet to sizzling. Just because I enjoy writing the latter, doesn't mean I condemn those who write the former and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it myself.

I don't think of myself a perv, but I am definitely not a prude. Yet when some people find out what I write I am treated like the town pariah. Although, check most of those peoples book shelves or kindles and you will find 50 Shades of Grey. You see, that book is acceptable, because it is a international best seller. And therein lies the difference. If you peddle smut and sell enough to hit the NYT best seller list then you are a maverick, but if you peddle smut on a small scale you are a depraved-porn pushing, hell bound, sinner. Hypocritical? Yep, you bet ya. But that is how society works, sell enough and you are praised for "breaking the mold"; sell a little bit and you might as well line up next to Larry Flint and wait your turn on the tour bus headed for the second circle of hell. Oh hypocrisy, so much fun.

So what do erotic romance writers to do? Hold the line, keep writing, up your heat level if you like, lower if you want. But never-ever give in to what a select few toting a higher moral ground demand of you. You don't have to explain yourself, I sure as hell am not going to explain myself or defend myself about what I write. I've done that for over a year now and it's gotten me absolutely no where. No more. And, so what if it titillates the reader? So what if the author gets excited writing it? Who said our lives had to be restrained, boring, and bland? It may be cliché, but it's true: Life is short. Live it. Enjoy it. And do what makes you happy. And yes, read and/or write what makes you happy and if that is erotic romance, porn without plot, or smut then curl up, draw the blinds, bite your lip and let that blush happen. Enjoy the fact that you can do it.

Now, it's your turn: What is your preferred "heat rating"? Do you like it sweet and mild or hot and heavy?

We'd love to hear from you! 

Success

So the one thing I have to remind myself over and over about is that success does not happen over night. Not even for authors with big name publishers. There's a lot of work, networking, marketing, a lot of everything that goes into success. The problem I'm seeing around social networking are authors who insist that they are entitled to success. They want it over night, they deserve it over night, because they are so much better than the thousands indie authors struggling out there. Sure there are authors who can drop hundreds of dollars on ads, hiring a marketing person, and using every possible resource to their advantage, but let's face it. Not all of us have that kind of money.

What we need to remember is to have patience. I'm not saying don't do any marketing, because that's not going to help the matter. But be smart about it. Explore your avenue, be open to trying new things. I've talked to several authors who have been indie authors for three years and they are doing great. It helps that they have a great product. Do your research, for example, did you know there is an algorithm on amazon that you can use to your advantage? You get the best change of being seen if you publish something every thirty days, your chances are lowered if you post something every sixty days, and after ninety days you drop out of their algorithm and start all over again. Am I suggesting you write crap and threw it up just to take advantage of this? No, no I'm not, because there is enough crap out there already, but start planning on it. Try to get a head of your writing and soon you'll be able to starting putting things up, short stories, novels, novellas, co-written books.

Sit down and write a five year plan, but be reasonable. Put down things that you know will be a challenge, but will be attainable. Set short term and long term goals and deadlines. Stick to them. Don't be afraid of making friends with strangers, network with authors inside and outside your genre. Talk to people and share what you know. Yes writing is a solitary career, but marketing is not done alone. Be personable, don't air your woes and marketing troubles on Facebook. Don't threaten to quit just to get a rise out of fans so that they'll stroke your ego. And most of all...don't give up.

I've come a long way in a year, with both names that I write under, but I know I still have a long way to go. Some days the road seems dark, but then I remind myself. Success doesn't happen over night and it doesn't come without work. We are not entitled to anything.