Sex: Porn or Creative Expression?

Well this post was kind of a given, surprising that it took this long for it to be discussed. This blog isn't about sex, but seeing as how both +Alexandra Webb and I write Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance I figure it is worth discussing. There is many different "heat levels" and for everyone the definition of what is acceptable and what is considered depraved is different. Like most things in life, sex is subjective. No two people view it in exactly the same light. Some people view it as "porn in written form", but for others it is simply "creative expression". So let's roll up our sleeves and dive right into all the juicy details.

When reviewing books here at SPE we use our own heat rating system:

Mild- Sex is eluded to or given a very sweet touch with pretty words, nothing graphic

Medium- Getting a little heavier but still nothing that couldn't be shown in primetime TV

Hot- This is the kind of scenes that if it were on TV would have to be shown after 10pm

Spicy- Graphic with just a touch of restraint. It makes you blush and gets your heart racing

Scorching- Graphic and abundant. Words you wouldn't use in proper company are usually used regularly. Not only do you blush and a racing pulse, your body throbs, and you might need to take a break from reading and find some release. (yes, there are those types of books out there)

What do I feel most comfortable writing? Glad you asked. I enjoy writing Spicy. Although I am getting very fluent in Scorching. I do stumble on the use of some words and descriptions, but slowly I am getting over that bump in the road. Sweet sex scenes gives me hives, seriously. Not that I don't like reading them, but writing them gives me so much anxiety that I actually feel like I might pass out from the stress of it. Why? Because I am so used to writing graphic scenes (be it sex or violence) that writing something without such an intense level of description stresses me out. I worry, did I put too much touch, taste, and texture in that? What if it offends someone? But then again I am a worrier. And that is also why I don't tend to write the sweet-stuff.

But I know that not everyone is like me. For some people reading something with even a "hot" heat rating would be too much for them. And that is fine, as I am reminded time and time again: You can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like your book. Which is cool. That is okay with me. But for the people who like to have that blush to their cheeks when they read something I hope that I can deliver. Every once in awhile I'll get an email from someone that says "That chapter was hot." That gives me the best feeling in the world.

I've been seeing a surge of posts on the internet asking what the point of writing graphic sex scenes., accusing authors of only writing them to titillate the reader and themselves, fodder for the depraved, material to masturbate to, and comparing it to porn. I guess for me, my counter question would be: So what? If you don't like it, don't read it. Really. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but if you don't like something stay away from it. I don't like animal cruelty so I stay away from cock-fights. I've seen posts saying that having this kind of literature available is poison to readers. I'm allergic to coconut, to me it is poison, you know what I do? I don't eat it. If someone thinks that erotic romance is poison then they shouldn't be picking it up and reading it, just like I stay away from coconut. It's really as simple as that. Now when it comes to reading sex scenes I enjoy it in all forms, from sweet to sizzling. Just because I enjoy writing the latter, doesn't mean I condemn those who write the former and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it myself.

I don't think of myself a perv, but I am definitely not a prude. Yet when some people find out what I write I am treated like the town pariah. Although, check most of those peoples book shelves or kindles and you will find 50 Shades of Grey. You see, that book is acceptable, because it is a international best seller. And therein lies the difference. If you peddle smut and sell enough to hit the NYT best seller list then you are a maverick, but if you peddle smut on a small scale you are a depraved-porn pushing, hell bound, sinner. Hypocritical? Yep, you bet ya. But that is how society works, sell enough and you are praised for "breaking the mold"; sell a little bit and you might as well line up next to Larry Flint and wait your turn on the tour bus headed for the second circle of hell. Oh hypocrisy, so much fun.

So what do erotic romance writers to do? Hold the line, keep writing, up your heat level if you like, lower if you want. But never-ever give in to what a select few toting a higher moral ground demand of you. You don't have to explain yourself, I sure as hell am not going to explain myself or defend myself about what I write. I've done that for over a year now and it's gotten me absolutely no where. No more. And, so what if it titillates the reader? So what if the author gets excited writing it? Who said our lives had to be restrained, boring, and bland? It may be cliché, but it's true: Life is short. Live it. Enjoy it. And do what makes you happy. And yes, read and/or write what makes you happy and if that is erotic romance, porn without plot, or smut then curl up, draw the blinds, bite your lip and let that blush happen. Enjoy the fact that you can do it.

Now, it's your turn: What is your preferred "heat rating"? Do you like it sweet and mild or hot and heavy?

We'd love to hear from you! 

2014- The Road Ahead

Last time I posted it was my year in review, so this time I thought I'd lay out the year ahead of me. My personal goals aside, I have quite a few professional goals I'd like to make happen this year. Most importantly will be writing more books. I'd like to have 3 releases under my belt this year, not counting the book I'm contracted for. I'd also like to submit at least one more thing to my publisher, but since this is about self-publishing let's just stick to that.

I'm currently working on a co-writing project with Alexandra. Hoping for that to be released some time in Spring, but for my solo projects I am working on Waking Up In Chains (book two in my Arcadian Veil series) which is paranormal romance, Mirage which is a paranormal erotic romance, and Steamworks- a steampunk BDSM novel.

Steampunk BDSM, you ask? It's a genre that has some very stiff cons but I think and hope I can do it right and put a new spin on some familiar tropes. First risk is that most people think that BDSM books are all about weak females (which it's not) and that steampunk is a genre about empowered females (which is very true). I happen to view both of these genres as having strong females (when written correctly and not having the female act like a wet noodle) and I think that my story fits the way I view things. It shows that there can be strength in submission and women who submit aren't always treated like children by their Doms. And that a good spanking with handcuffs can be fun. The other risk with writing in this genre is being compared to other authors. It seems that the BDSM genre really suffers from this type of stereotyping more so than any other genre. If I were to say to someone "I write science fiction." Most people would not respond with "Oh are you trying to be the next Orson Scott Card?" But if I say to people "I write Erotica." Or "I write BDSM." The first thing out of 95% of people is something snarky like "Oh are you trying to be the next EL James?" or "So you write that 50 Shades of Grey stuff?"

I don’t want to be compared to anyone else, I want to be my own person without having the cloud of everyone else thinking I'm trying to stick the same stuck pig to bleed out some money. It's about telling a story, one I want to read, one that is in my heart and my head, one that these voices tell me constantly and it is just my job to type it all out and hope one or two people read it and say "Wow, I really enjoyed that."

Bottom line is this: In 2009 I found my bliss again, writing. It's something that everyone in my day-to-day life told me I was never good enough for and that I could never do it. In 2010 I started to believe that I could write but only as a hobby. By 2011-12 I knew I wanted writing to be my career, but I still wasn't sure if I had what it would take. I listened to others tell me I was "okay at writing" but that I'd never be "one of the greats" I'd never be "elite" (whatever that means). But luckily I had some great ladies who told me the opposite, who said "You can do this. You are talented." 2013 was an up and down year but in the end I stood up and put myself out there and it paid off and now I have the belief I needed in myself. 2014 is my time to make it happen, learn, fall down, pick myself back up, and keep going.

But the one thing I couldn't do it all without is my friends and my kids. They are my much needed support system, they help me, encourage me, and stand by me. Which is a damn good feeling.

This year will be nothing but hard work, drive, and positive thinking.

Review: Special Assignment by Niki Becker

Special Assignment
By Niki Becker

Synopsis: Jake left Justice, Kansas shortly after the wreck. His life had been forever changed and he didn't know how he could stay in the one place that was a constant reminder of both women. Now on a quest to prove himself he taps into the one thing better left alone.
Charlie knew that eventually she’d have to run again. Resolution, California wouldn't be safe forever, someone would learn about her past. She just never imagined it would be the one person she’s spent a decade trying to forget.

Charlie and her brother Justin have made a new life in their beach side house on the banks of California. Justin stripping and Charlie hooking - neither wanted these jobs but they both paid the bills. Life was calm until trouble happened inside one seemingly friendly hotel.
Jake and Charlie, face to face with each other and their past.
Will they both overcome their shadows that haunt each of them?
Is there ever a way to forgive and forget when death is involved?
Special Assignment - The only thing special about this assignment are the two people involved.

Review: What can I say but wow? I'm a bit new to the world of Erotic Suspense, but I really feel like I hit the nail on the head with what I like to read in this genre and holy cow does Ms. Becker just steal me away with this book. I have to say that I think my favorite thing is that the characters aren't perfect. At all. A lot of times you find that either the guys is perfect (with a dash of a tortured past) or the woman has no real past and one of them ends up falling flat. That is not the case with Charlie and Jake! The two have a past together that they can't get rid of and it creates amazing chemistry between them. It gives a realistic aspect to the story. 

The plot had me hooked right away. It's not often that you have someone killed within the first fifty words of a book. The twists and turns weren't predictable which I liked. I found myself reading a page here and there where I could and often forgetting that I was reading on my phone instead of my e-reader. I just got sucked in. The sex was amazing, there was a nice verity of it, which helped from keeping it repetitive. I highly recommend that if you like erotica and suspense, pick this book up!

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

5 out of 5 Stars

Heat Rating: Scorching

(mild, medium, hot, spicy, scorching) 

Buy It!

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Smashwords

Bookstrand

All Romance Ebooks

iTunes

Print Book

Add it on GoodReads

About the Author: Niki Becker is the pen name for Ashley Nemer.

Ashley is married and lives in Houston with her husband Tony. They have two dogs named Toto and Doogie. They have been together for almost 8 years and he brings her more joy than she could ever imagine as a child. She loves to read and has been hooked on the romance genre ever since her lifelong best friend Laura gave her "Ashes to Ashes' by Tami Hoag to read when they were younger.

Ashley finds her strength through her family, especially her parents. They always support her in life, they push her to strive for greatness. There once was a motto that Ashley heard in her youth through her Taekwondo life 'Reach for the Stars' and that is what Ashley has always done. It was through her upbringing that the values Ashley has and display's came from. With her Parents always cheering her on in life she was able to grow up having faith in herself and her ability to conquer the world.

Author Website Niki / Ashley Twitter Facebook Blog