Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Sex: Porn or Creative Expression?



Well this post was kind of a given, surprising that it took this long for it to be discussed. This blog isn't about sex, but seeing as how both +Alexandra Webb and I write Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance I figure it is worth discussing. There is many different "heat levels" and for everyone the definition of what is acceptable and what is considered depraved is different. Like most things in life, sex is subjective. No two people view it in exactly the same light. Some people view it as "porn in written form", but for others it is simply "creative expression". So let's roll up our sleeves and dive right into all the juicy details.

When reviewing books here at SPE we use our own heat rating system:
Mild- Sex is eluded to or given a very sweet touch with pretty words, nothing graphic
Medium- Getting a little heavier but still nothing that couldn't be shown in primetime TV
Hot- This is the kind of scenes that if it were on TV would have to be shown after 10pm
Spicy- Graphic with just a touch of restraint. It makes you blush and gets your heart racing
Scorching- Graphic and abundant. Words you wouldn't use in proper company are usually used regularly. Not only do you blush and a racing pulse, your body throbs, and you might need to take a break from reading and find some release. (yes, there are those types of books out there)

What do I feel most comfortable writing? Glad you asked. I enjoy writing Spicy. Although I am getting very fluent in Scorching. I do stumble on the use of some words and descriptions, but slowly I am getting over that bump in the road. Sweet sex scenes gives me hives, seriously. Not that I don't like reading them, but writing them gives me so much anxiety that I actually feel like I might pass out from the stress of it. Why? Because I am so used to writing graphic scenes (be it sex or violence) that writing something without such an intense level of description stresses me out. I worry, did I put too much touch, taste, and texture in that? What if it offends someone? But then again I am a worrier. And that is also why I don't tend to write the sweet-stuff.

But I know that not everyone is like me. For some people reading something with even a "hot" heat rating would be too much for them. And that is fine, as I am reminded time and time again: You can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like your book. Which is cool. That is okay with me. But for the people who like to have that blush to their cheeks when they read something I hope that I can deliver. Every once in awhile I'll get an email from someone that says "That chapter was hot." That gives me the best feeling in the world.

I've been seeing a surge of posts on the internet asking what the point of writing graphic sex scenes., accusing authors of only writing them to titillate the reader and themselves, fodder for the depraved, material to masturbate to, and comparing it to porn. I guess for me, my counter question would be: So what? If you don't like it, don't read it. Really. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but if you don't like something stay away from it. I don't like animal cruelty so I stay away from cock-fights. I've seen posts saying that having this kind of literature available is poison to readers. I'm allergic to coconut, to me it is poison, you know what I do? I don't eat it. If someone thinks that erotic romance is poison then they shouldn't be picking it up and reading it, just like I stay away from coconut. It's really as simple as that. Now when it comes to reading sex scenes I enjoy it in all forms, from sweet to sizzling. Just because I enjoy writing the latter, doesn't mean I condemn those who write the former and it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it myself.

I don't think of myself a perv, but I am definitely not a prude. Yet when some people find out what I write I am treated like the town pariah. Although, check most of those peoples book shelves or kindles and you will find 50 Shades of Grey. You see, that book is acceptable, because it is a international best seller. And therein lies the difference. If you peddle smut and sell enough to hit the NYT best seller list then you are a maverick, but if you peddle smut on a small scale you are a depraved-porn pushing, hell bound, sinner. Hypocritical? Yep, you bet ya. But that is how society works, sell enough and you are praised for "breaking the mold"; sell a little bit and you might as well line up next to Larry Flint and wait your turn on the tour bus headed for the second circle of hell. Oh hypocrisy, so much fun.

So what do erotic romance writers to do? Hold the line, keep writing, up your heat level if you like, lower if you want. But never-ever give in to what a select few toting a higher moral ground demand of you. You don't have to explain yourself, I sure as hell am not going to explain myself or defend myself about what I write. I've done that for over a year now and it's gotten me absolutely no where. No more. And, so what if it titillates the reader? So what if the author gets excited writing it? Who said our lives had to be restrained, boring, and bland? It may be cliché, but it's true: Life is short. Live it. Enjoy it. And do what makes you happy. And yes, read and/or write what makes you happy and if that is erotic romance, porn without plot, or smut then curl up, draw the blinds, bite your lip and let that blush happen. Enjoy the fact that you can do it.

Now, it's your turn: What is your preferred "heat rating"? Do you like it sweet and mild or hot and heavy?

We'd love to hear from you! 

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