Fear

The other day I went to Starbucks to write, those of you who know me know how rare this really is. Between watching extra kids every other week, a husband, and a baby, my time alone out of the house is limited. So there I am, sitting in the nice comfy chair, computer plugged in, Scrivener opened, coffee at my side and then it hits me. How am I going to write a sex scene in public? I got cold feed and switched to writing a flash fiction piece so that my time still ended up productive.

So what's my point? My point is that I need to get over that, there is a lot of sex in my SPE project. It's not often someone looks over my shoulder to read what I'm writing. It felt like an excuse for not moving forward with the book. Why would I not want to move forward? Fear. I'm terrified of what comes next. Sure I've revised and edited a book before. I've handed things out to beta readers. But there are somethings that are different with this book.

One: It's completely outside what I normally write. I was inspired to write this book despite the fact that it was outside my realm. Yes, it would have been easier for me to write something that was PNR, but this felt like the right thing to do. Part of me is scared that PNR is all I can write, while the other part of me is excited for this adventure.

Two: I'm putting it out there. This is different than just putting it out there for people on Facebook, this is going to be out there for the general public. My SPE contains things that may stir some things up in people.  I also don't want to be compared to a certain book. (I think that is probably going to happen anyways, so I will just have to deal with it when I come.)

The thing is, fear is part of the process. It is part of that self doubting voice that lives inside all of our heads. The only thing you can do is keep writing. Push passed it. That being said, next time I get to Starbucks, creepy old man or not, I will write and push through that fear.